Things keep heating up in Venezuela, with possible “military options” now being seriously discussed at the Pentagon. And of course you know what that means! That’s right, it means we can expect to see even more lies and manipulations from the political/media class as the narrative managers try to get their rapey little fingers into our minds to manufacture support for unconscionable acts.

This can create a very confusing environment for everyone, where up means down and black means white and “humanitarian intervention” means “murdering thousands and thousands of innocent human beings”. With that in mind, here’s a handy translation key to help you understand what the establishment mouthpieces are really saying:


“I stand with the people of Venezuela” = I stand with some of the people in Venezuela, specifically the ones who support US government interests.

“Interim President” = Some guy most Venezuelans had never heard of until January of this year.

“Brutal dictator” = Elected leader who opposes US dictates.

“Usurper” = The guy calling the shots and leading the country.

“Opposition-led, military-backed challenge” = Coup.

“The people of Venezuela are starving” = Oil! Oil! Oil!

“All options are on the table” = One option is on the table.

“Popular uprising” = Unpopular uprising.

“Grassroots activists” = Let’s pretend the CIA’s not a thing.

“Freedom and democracy” = US control of Venezuela’s petroleum resources.

“Humanitarian aid” = Pretext for further escalations.

“Failed socialist policies” = Inability to overcome US economic warfare.

“Foreign interference” = An ally of Venezuela supporting its ally.

“We support the National Assembly” = Foreign interference.

“The Venezuelan Constitution” = Our convenient interpretation of the Venezuelan Constitution.

“We can’t just sit around and do nothing” = I have learned nothing since the Iraq War.

“54 countries recognize Guaido as president” =  141 countries don’t recognize Guaido as president.

“Troika of tyranny” = John Bolton’s second-favorite masturbatory fantasy.

“Special Envoy to Venezuela” = Convicted war criminal.

“The Monroe Doctrine” = I think all the countries on this side of the planet are my personal property.

“Operación Libertad” = Operación Libertad para el Petróleo de Venezuela.

“Shut the fuck up, bitch.” = Standard talking point from Venezuela coup narrative managers on social media.

“Talk to Venezuelans” = Talk to the wealthier, English-speaking Venezuelans with abundant free time and internet access who support a coup.

“You love Maduro” = I don’t have an argument for your opposition to US interventionism.

“You’re just a socialist who loves socialism” = I don’t have an argument.

“Go live in Venezuela if you love socialism so much” = I don’t have an argument.

“Maduro is killing his own people” = Yeah I’m just making shit up now.

“Maduro refuses to let in aid” = I just believe whatever the TV says.

“Trump is liberating the people of Venezuela” = I just believe whatever QAnon says.

“This US regime change intervention will be different” = I have replaced my brain with shaving cream.


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37 responses to “Venezuela: Establishment Talking Points Translation Key”

  1. I would add another phrase to the Monroe Doctrine definition, thus making it read: “I believe all the countries on this side of the world are my personal property, along with all the other countries, too.” This seems to be the way the United States government views the world, since they always seem to be interfering in the Middle East, pushing back against Russia, trying to put Iran into a penalty box, etc.

  2. Still wrong about this. I’ve seen multiple alt new outlets pitching this same narrative this week. They even posted pictures of ‘protestors outside the Venezuelan embassy protesting our involvement’. Which was hilarious. Because if you paused the video you could see that every sign was anti-Maduro. Even as the exact opposite was being reported. Those people weren’t ‘protesting’. They were being restrained from rushing the embassy and stringing up every Maduro loyalist they could find. These are verifiable facts. Say what u want about US Imperialism. Probably none of it will be wrong. But don’t put words in the mouths of Venezuelans. They DON’T want Maduro. He has enough oil money and Chinese support to keep his hold on power, mostly by bribe/threatening the right people. But he is not beloved or trusted or wanted. This narrative is only self serving to Caitlin, 10000 miles away. But it is hurting the real people really being hurt by putting doctrine ahead of reality. I think it’s Imperialism too. But the fact remains that the large majority of Venezuelans would be much better off with Maduro gone. My dad fled Cuba in 1962. We were trying to oust Castro at that time. That was probably some flavor of Imperialism too. But whatever our intentions were, it’s hard to argue that things could have gone any worse for Cubans in the ensuing 50 years under Castro. Get your facts from someone who actually understands the situation. This isn’t an academic case study. It’s a complex reality with no good answer. Distilling it all down to one academic point does a huge disservice to millions of suffering people.

  3. I think what is more critical than oil is the U.S. belief that NO COUNTRY ON EARTH has the right to self-determination. We stole this continent from its indigenous inhabitants and it led us to believe that we have the right to tell everyone else in the world what to do. How dare Venezuela think it is a sovereign nation? Teddy Roosevelt made it clear during the war on the Philippines that Filipinos had no right to their own country (we slaughtered 20 percent of Filipino civilians), that WE had the right to exploit and dominate their country. This mindset is utterly poisonous and utterly prevalent. If you meet an American who does not think this way, consider yourself fortunate.

    1. Are you sure you know what Venezuelans want? Because it seems to me nobody is more effective at preventing a people’s self determination than a brutal dictator clinging to power. Or do you deny the dozens of historical examples?

      1. Maduro is not a “brutal dictator clinging to power”. He won election last year with 70% of the vote. Several international election watcher organizations said it was a legitimate vote.
        I’m pretty sure the US destroying the Venezuelan economy and threatening invasion is not helping the self-determination of the people.
        Unfortunately too many people are still addicted to the Kool-Aid of the establishment narrative propagated by the fake news MSM.

  4. John Allen aka Ol' Hippy Avatar
    John Allen aka Ol’ Hippy

    I missed this column on Medium because I was moving this past week.(I think.) However this snazzy, snappy, translation key gets to the heart of some propagandist talking points. As consumers of MSM nonsense we need some keys for astute navigation through the minefields of ridiculous rhetoric. Caitlin to the rescue with her handy list to keep us away from the most toxic effects that garner our support for another needless blood-soaked intervention. I watched Mike Pompeo “Maximus” yesterday on Fox News Sunday frothing at the mouth to steal Venezuela’s oil. Sickening. We just need to distribute this list far and wide so Americans can see the evil ways of the Emperor and his merry band of psychopaths; ‘Maximus’, Caligula John Bolton and Eliot “Eagle Claw” Abrams. Blood runs off their very being. They need to be stopped. Peace, The Ol’ Hippy

  5. perfect

  6. Tomonthebeach Avatar

    Sometimes humor nails it. Great article Caitlin!

  7. The immature conscience is one that bases its judgments partly, or even entirely, on the way other people seem disposed toward its decisions. The good is what is admired or accepted by the people it lives with. The evil is what irritates or upsets them. Even when the immature conscience is not entirely dominated by people outside itself, it nevertheless acts only as a representative of some other conscience. The immature conscience is not its own master. It is merely the delegate of the conscience of another person, or of a group, or of a party, or of a social class, or of a nation, or of a race. Therefore, it does not make real moral decisions of its own, it simply parrots the decisions of others. It does not make judgments of its own, it merely “confirms” to the party line. It does not really have motives or intentions of its own. Or if it does, it wrecks them by twisting and rationalizing them to fit the intentions of another. That is not moral freedom.

    – Thomas Merton, No Man Is an Island [1955]

  8. Hi Caitlin, nice to see you copied on to other website.
    Big congrats on getting your points defending JA published in the comment section of other sites. Keep up the good work.

  9. Michel Bélisle Avatar
    Michel Bélisle

    I really do not know how they can do it telling so much lies, breaking the Eighth Commandment (“Thou shalt not bear false witness”) and be at peace with themselves.

    As I said before, the only explanation is that the days of Noah are back as it was written it would be towards the end of the world.

    We have to pray the Rosary fervently.

  10. Delighted to see Caitlin mentioned in various places on the internet, all references to her excellent journalism.

  11. Nelson AND oLA Wight Avatar
    Nelson AND oLA Wight

    I wish I had enlarged photos of that marvelous threesome. I would hang them in my backhouse; my wife has been constipated lately.

    1. Try this video:

      Is there any limit to the tackiness of these people?

  12. don’t mean to be heavy.. but there’s something you should know..
    big world leaders.. set to control you.. plan to rule the world..
    the arms and weapons are building up.. all in the name of defence..
    better dig in to your fallout shelter.. things get really tense..
    and who don’t respect international law.. and nobody wins nuclear war..
    no blood for oil..
    united nations sanctions are a slow way to die..
    depleted uranium missiles burning children alive..
    suicide bombs and stepping on landmines.. is really blowing them out..
    and you just fill up your car with petrol.. and go cruising about..
    and who don’t respect international law..
    and nobody wins nuclear war..
    no blood for oil..

  13. Gerald Celente ( remarked recently, that since 911, the US has spent SIX TRILLION $$$ to “fjght terrorism”.We are way down the Rabbi Hole, folks…

    1. Dammit, somebody stole my “t” – although it does lend another layer of meaning to my post.

  14. TOP SECRET – Plan to overthrow the Venezuelan dictatorship
    This plan was prepared by Admiral Kurt W. Tidd, Commander SOUTHCOM, the head honcho for South America in February 2018. This is the plan they are following now.'s_News_Commentary/2019-05-04.PLAN%20TO%20OVERTHROW%20THE%20VENEZUELAN%20DICTATORSHIP%20(MASTERSTROKE).htm

  15. Some people see through the BS and are not afraid to call it like it really is:

  16. Caity, it never ceases to amaze me how you can put my frustrations with our imperial BS into words so brilliantly. We will not have a government we can be proud of until the progressives of the US rise up and demand fundamental checks on the capitalist monster we’ve created. Temporary legislation that can be chipped away as The New Deal has been won’t work. There will continue to be violence, poverty, and environmental destruction until we codify a new human rights movement in constitutional amendments that put clear checks in wealth accumulation. We can have a democracy or wealth accumulation, but not both. Corporate profits above what they invest directly into their own long term resilience should go right into the public coffers. 100% public funding for political party expenditures and campaigns is a must. Make lobbying as a profession illegal. Make private grants to universities to push ideology illegal. Congress members should consult academics for advice not lobbyists. Medical care as a right for all humans is a must. Access to food and shelter for all humans as a right is a must. If our economic system can’t pay for it then let’s evolve it into one that can. We can invent a new economic system that incentivizes hard work and innovation without sacrificing human rights, and it can be written directly into our constitution with a series of amendments. They don’t want us to believe it’s possible for obvious reasons, but it absolutely is and it can be done peacefully thanks to the current constitution we are lucky enough to have inherited. We just need to help our neighbors wake up to the truth.

  17. Donald Trump stood alongside Brazilian fellow sado-fascist Bolsonaro and said, “Venezuelans starving in the streets…”.

    Translation: “I president, therefore I lie.”

  18. Thank You, Ms Johnstone!! The United States government is by very far the world leader in Hypocrisy!!!

  19. Michel Bélisle Avatar
    Michel Bélisle

    You can add from the exact same people: “I clearly saw wreckages of airplanes in the Pentagone and in the field in Pennsylvania on 9-11”.

    Which means: “There is no lie I will not endorse to maintain my social position and my personal fortune”

    It is so depressing to see that Caitlin, it is funny in a sense but depressing at the same time.

    We are back in the days of Noah. The end is near no doubt.

    I am keeping my Rosary close.

  20. Here’s Tucker Carlson”s take on the CIA/Suckerman in-your-face Zionist censorship of the Sheeple:

  21. The empire is drowning–from the insurrection from within–and will grab on to anything within it’s reach–which will only hasten it’s decline–we [and the rest of the world] have to eradicate the mad cow virus from within if humanity is to survive–let’s start with the social media titans who are constraining the flow of information and serving as private contractors of censorship. Read Solzhenitsyn’s “200 Years Together” [pdf online] –where he describes the treatment of those in the Gulag prison systems who collaborated with their jailers. When they were very harshly eliminated– the Gulag systems fell apart. We need to identify those who are within our communities who are supporting the usurpation of our liberties–we can then move on to the actual invaders–who have a international web of connections– through-out the planet.

  22. I think Trump recently said something along the lies of “What can I do?” which can be translated as “I need the Florida Cuban vote”.

  23. “Humanitarian aid” can also mean M-4 rifles and other surplus U.S. military equipment, as we all witnessed in videos of the latest episode in this drama.

  24. look around you. you will find one or two who fled Venezuela after the Bolivarian revolution. they were not farmers or teachers. they were bankers and oil execs who used to exploit Venezuelans and loot Venezuela. same as the Cubans in self-imposed exile in Florida. they are scum of the earth. the US of Israel is a magnet for those thugs and thieves. of course they feel they were robbed by Chavez and Maduro, and they want what they think is theirs back sooner or later. same with Russia where the thieves looted Russia’s weealth and then fled to settle in London. ever since, they have been trying to re-take Russia. nothing new. that’s what the parasites do.

  25. Liars think they are being creative, but you have to be fools to believe the US government about anything. Too bad their phony non-education system has produced a nation of fools eager to believe anything “authorities” put out there. It doesn’t take a genius to fool a nation of idiots.

  26. No Blood for Oil, Or Shut The Fuck Up and get out of The People and Planets way. Join us. Have a nice day :). Support the Embassy Defenders. Free Assange, Manning and too many others. Put a cog in the wheel, at least for the children. Thank you Caitlin & Co..

  27. Absolutely nothing has changed since Smedley Butler’s time:

    1. Smedley Butler on Interventionism
      — Excerpt from a speech delivered in 1933, by Major General Smedley Butler, USMC.

      “War is just a racket. A racket is best described, I believe, as something that is not what it seems to the majority of people. Only a small inside group knows what it is about. It is conducted for the benefit of the very few at the expense of the masses.”

    2. i beg to differ. everything’s got a lot worse. we must help the evil empire to shatter into nano particles, though, so that it can NEVER be put back together.

  28. “Throwing a Missile” = what a US peace activist with CodePink has been charged with by police for tossing bread to the defenders of the Venezuelan embassy in DC.

    “Nothing” = what right wing thugs associated with the CIA plot have been charged with for doing physical damage to the Venezuelan embassy in DC.

  29. RC - Garrs Avatar
    RC – Garrs

    Hey Venezuelans – You needn’t worry about dictators ( like Guaidó ); watch out for the diabolical Prince.

  30. Consistently over the last couple of decades, “all options are on the table” has meant a threat to use nuclear weapons.

  31. RC - Garrs Avatar
    RC – Garrs

    There’s also the quadriga (Pence, Pompeo, Bolton & Abrams) that are hauling the CIA’s tools in and out of Venezuela and all around South America, Lopez and that other guy whose, as friends point out, name I misspell a lot.
    I tell them it really doesn’t matter, he’s a nobody anyway.

    People should realize by now, half the trouble in the world today is caused by the oil cartels. The other half is caused by religions.
    We need to shed them both if we want the human race to continue to exist.

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