Today’s Caitlin Johnstone article has been replaced with an op-ed by Snooty McCentrist of the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.

Bernie Sanders has suspended his presidential primary run, leaving the 2020 race a simple contest between former Vice President Doe Truden and President Jonald Bimp. The time is now for Sanders supporters to lay aside the many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many many differences they have with Truden to avoid the re-election of someone with whom they have many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many many differences.

It’s time to tell it like it is, Bernie Bros: if you refuse to vote for Truden just because he’s a demented right-wing racist authoritarian warmongering corporate whore who has been credibly accused of rape and with whom you share no common ideological ground, that’s the same as voting for the other demented right-wing racist authoritarian warmongering corporate whore who has been credibly accused of rape and with whom you share no common ideological ground. Now do you really want that on your conscience?

I hear some Berners arguing that they see it as the exact opposite: that a vote for Truden is the same as a vote for Bimp, because the ideological distance between a leftist and Truden is orders of magnitude greater than the ideological difference between Truden and Bimp. But nothing could be further from the truth! For example, both Truden and Bimp have completely different names, with completely different letters in them. Don’t believe me? Look at their names for yourself. They’re not even spelled the same.

I hear others arguing that if refusing to vote for Truden is the same as voting for Bimp, then isn’t refusing to vote for Bimp the same as voting for Truden? And the answer to that is hush. You shut your filthy mouth.

If Bernie Bros decide to stay home, or vote third party, or vote down-ballot only, or assemble a political movement that stands a chance at actually changing things, or donning yellow vests and taking to the streets, or getting the word out to the public that they’re all living a lie and the mass media is actually a highly sophisticated propaganda operation designed to lull them into supporting the status quo in fake election after fake election where the game is rigged and the plutocrats own both parties, that’s the same as voting for Jonald Bimp, and why would you want that when you could have a president from a completely different party, who has a completely different name?

Time to grow up and get realistic, Bernie Bros. Now sit down and clap for our puppet show.


Thanks for reading! The best way to get around the internet censors and make sure you see the stuff I publish is to subscribe to the mailing list for my website, which will get you an email notification for everything I publish. My work is entirely reader-supported, so if you enjoyed this piece please consider sharing it around, liking me on Facebook, following my antics onTwitter, checking out my podcast on either YoutubesoundcloudApple podcasts or Spotify, following me on Steemit, throwing some money into my hat on Patreon or Paypalpurchasing some of my sweet merchandise, buying my books Rogue Nation: Psychonautical Adventures With Caitlin Johnstone and Woke: A Field Guide for Utopia Preppers. For more info on who I am, where I stand, and what I’m trying to do with this platform, click here. Everyone, racist platforms excluded, has my permission to republish, use or translate any part of this work (or anything else I’ve written) in any way they like free of charge.

Bitcoin donations:1Ac7PCQXoQoLA9Sh8fhAgiU3PHA2EX5Zm2

Liked it? Take a second to support Caitlin Johnstone on Patreon!
Become a patron at Patreon!

108 responses to “Op-Ed: Refusing To Vote For Truden Is The Same As Voting For Bimp”

  1. When you live in a red state and marginalized, the federal gov’t acts as a last resort protector. Many on the purity progressive side do not understand that.

  2. …….I’ll tip my hat to the new constitution
    Take a bow for the new revolution
    Smile and grin at the change all around
    Pick up my guitar and play
    Just like yesterday
    Then I’ll get on my knees and pray…
    We don’t get fooled again.

    1. Carolyn Zaremba Avatar
      Carolyn Zaremba

      But people WERE fooled again!

  3. When you vote, you are voting to support a system of corruption, greed and evil.
    George Carlin: Why I don’t vote:

  4. The ruling sociopaths, who run the global monetary system, have had over 100 years to buy up total control of everything important to maintaining their power. How do we fight that when everyone is brainwashed from birth to work for money? If the money controls us, and they control the money, then they control us. How many people can say “No” to money? Notice how, as they collapse the economy, they are quick to promise us some “stimulus” money. They are relieving our withdrawal symptoms as they transition us to another drug they will be more addictive to us and more profitable for them. You can be sure that no politician they place in front of us will ever do anything significant to upset their plans, because they own those politicians, because they own our governments, and because they own our money system.

    1. Anthony Christie Avatar
      Anthony Christie

      This money thing is a conundrum, though maybe soon, if it all collapses, with the conundrum of how to replace it. Ideas?

        1. Anthony Christie Avatar
          Anthony Christie

          Thanks! Lots to read. BFN.

  5. The issue of who to vote for remains. If we were to limit choices to the unemployed we would find a maverick leader capable of changing the system into something just and sustainable. Among the millions, besides MYSELF are refined, intelligent and experienced men and women of all backgrounds. Among these millions we can certainly pick better than a self serving sociopathic reality TV show grifter of a con man next time. PLEASE!

    Aliens are laughing at us. KDFP

    1. Whoever you vote for, you are still voting for a system of war and plunder. Be the change you want to see; that’s how you vote.

      1. That is why I figure I’ll vote for myself. I’m not in the system. KDFP K-Dog For President..

        1. You’d still be voting for the system.

          1. The old hippie bus is out rusting by the lake, from the 80´s, when the slogan was Vote for Nobody! Because nobody cares! I think they ran a pig. That was the Hog Farm. They still run a dynamite kids camp, Camp Winnarainbow. Been going over 40 years! Regeneration is ongoing. What shall we do? May your own creative response emerge and grow this Easter!

      2. Indeed. Both parties represent just that. Even worse is the massive influence of AIPAC and the ADL has on not only congress but this sitting president.
        Rge deep state/shadow government is the one you have to worry the most about as they are the puppet masters. They pull the strings and the politicians do as they are ordered.
        The government you see on C-Span is only window dressing. The real government hides in the background.
        There are no free and honest elections in America and nearly every politician has been bought, bribed or blackmailed……just consider Jeffry Epstein and his madam Gislane Maxwell.
        How many polticians in Washington and other states are being black mailed, not to mention inside the Pentgram, the MSM and Hollywood.
        We have a make over to do and the tree of liberty needs to be refreshed.

        1. Agreed. It’s true power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely, but few people consider that the absolutely corrupt seek power. Everyone else just wants to be left alone.

      3. Carolyn Zaremba Avatar
        Carolyn Zaremba

        That’s why I vote for the candidates of the Socialist Equality Party and have done since 2000.

  6. Couple of NOAM CHOMSKY quotes on this point (from after 2016 US election):

    “If you have any moral understanding, you want to keep the greater evil out… I didn’t like Clinton at all, but her positions are much better than Trump’s on every issue I can think of”.

    “If Clinton had won, she had some progressive programmes. The left could have been organised to keeping her feet to the fire and pushing them through. What it’ll be doing now is trying to protect rights that have been, gains that have been achieved, from being destroyed. That’s completely regressive.”

    Chomsky said that leftists made a “bad mistake” by not voting for Hillary Clinton to stop Trump. Link to the interview is here:

    1. Noam Chomsky has lost any relevance he ever had by making such ludicrous remarks.

      1. I suspect your view will be shared by many who follow this blog. But I think that’s more a comment on this audience than on Chomsky. No disrespect to you. I tend to go with Chomsky on this – and it was interesting to see the huge support for Biden among working-class African-Americans, one demographic (among several in the non-elite, non-privileged category) that presumably sees a significant difference to their own lives (between having Trump & Biden as president).

        1. Anthony Christie Avatar
          Anthony Christie

          I’m pretty sure I wrote the struggle is “unite” incremental and revolutionary change, not choose either/or. Just sayin’
          Anyway. It’s a tough nut and we’re all trying our best to crack it. We’re brothers in this, Bruce. And everyone on this forum from Caitlin on down (up… sideways…Idk)

          1. Yeah, but those who favour “blowing up” the electoral system by “provoking a crisis” (your framing) have more in common with Steve Bannon & Dominic Cummings than with Chomsky. (Both Bannon & Cummings have explicitly talked of the “political opportunity” they see in crisis – it’s a fundamentally authoritarian path). Choose your brothers (and sisters) wisely.

            1. Anthony Christie Avatar
              Anthony Christie

              Touche, as usual, Bruce. Of course in the spirit of the current spring festival of death and resurrection, sin and redemption (and so on and so forth, as Noam might say), in final analysis those poor misguided souls (grr) are our siblings as well. Try as we might to deny it, and trite though it sounds, and trite though it is, I suppose… we are, in fact, all in it together, (if not all in it equally deep… see Covid stats for brown and black people vs white folks, etc).
              You’re very persuasive and I’m finding it harder and harder to indulge my inner Bernie-or-Buster, but it’s still a choice between two disgusting rapists etc. Noam’s argument in 2017 may still (just barely) hold vis Biden, but the margin’s even closer. A pox on all their houses! (Oops. Not literally. Sorry.)

      2. Also his idiocy concerning 9/11.
        Chomsky is beyond his sell by date.

      3. Carolyn Zaremba Avatar
        Carolyn Zaremba

        Agreed. He is politically illiterate.

    2. I’m sure that darling old man has no idea just how deep in HRC and the Democrats are. He comes out of academia, doesn’t understand mafia thinking. He’s just wrong here. They said the same things about Obama.

    3. Anthony Christie Avatar
      Anthony Christie

      Chomsky always makes the point that electoral politics should occupy only the barest minimum of any individual’s political thought and life; that the vast majority of effort should be spent doing ground level organizing and action.

      1. Of course. And yet, like Michael Moore (& other important dissidents) Chomsky is aware that the result of an election does make a real difference to people’s lives – even between Clinton (or Biden) and Trump as president.

        The “they’re all the same”/”it makes no difference” argument is a luxury of the relatively privileged – to whom the small differences don’t ultimately matter, since they are already relatively cushioned from the effects.

        It’s not as if Chomsky & Moore weren’t aware of (and hypercritical of) the problems with Clinton/Obama/Biden/establishment dems. They just have a better understanding of the “lesser evil” argument than many of those seduced by the attractive-but-ultimately-shallow reasoning on blogs such as this.

        1. Anthony Christie Avatar
          Anthony Christie

          The strategic dilemma is real. It’s akin to a Prisoners’ Dilemma. The painful struggle people endure in attempting to reconcile it ought not be (insultingly, ahem) dismissed out of hand as shallowness or lack of understanding. There is no simple solution. No magic Nash Equilibrium.
          The hope that blowing up the impotent electoral system by provoking a crisis seems to many to be at least as likely to clear the logjam as nose-holdingly legitimizing it again and again ad infinitum. There is a movement afoot away from this failed incrementalist strategy. It will eventually, unless suppressed by harsh (imposed) or soft (self-imposed) means, prevail. It must, or all is lost.
          I practically worship the old sage, but I try to remember how much he hates that kind of thing. Chomsky has lived long, thought deeply, understands much, but in the end is just one tiny fraction of the demos and deserves no more privilege than the most “shallow” amongst us. Just as the poor will be always with us, so too will the tension between revolution and incrementalism and the struggle to unite these toward true and meaningful progress.

          1. Sorry, but if anything is “shallow”, it’s this either/or notion – incrementalism *or* revolutionary change. There’s a reason that Chomsky argues against “blowing up” the electoral system. As he puts it, “it’ll shake up the system – in a bad way” – it’ll make real positive change even less likely. It’s what authoritarians want.

            1. Anthony Christie Avatar
              Anthony Christie

              Ya. Maybe. Probably. Idk. Too deep for me, Bruce. Glad we’ve got clever people like you (and Noam, of course). I’m gonna take a pull or two from my literal and metaphorical opium pipes and seek redemption/oblivion for a few hours. What a miracle to live in a time of pandemic and climate cataclysm, and Google Translate. Χριστὸς ἀνέστη! Ἀληθῶς ἀνέστη! (αύριο). Forgive us our trespasses, etc…

    4. Apparently not calculated into Noam’s opinion here is the fact that Hillary Clinton has a very long history of being quite excellent at lying about anything she plans to do and even better than excellent at lying about and/or covering up anything she’s actually done. Conversely, Trump has actually done pretty much everything he said he’d do, the chief problem with this being that his political promises, many having already been accomplished, are exactly the kinds of things his many various opponents are adamantly opposed to. Nevertheless notable is the fact that none of the Globalist Deep State and mainstream media lackey cabal having been involved in very well documented and ongoing treason activities against the U.S. Constitution in trying to prevent and then subvert the workings of the Trump administration as well as unseat a duly elected President has yet been legally prosecuted, much less “hung from nooses” as Hillary Clinton herself so colorfully put it. One could indeed suspect it’s all a game.

      1. Anthony Christie Avatar
        Anthony Christie

        Huh. Confused . My impression was Trump was going to bring manufacturing back from China. Thought that was the big promise that got him all the rust belt votes. Oh. And wasn’t he going to take on Wall Street? I guess he figures that if he buries them in tax break and stimulus money, they’ll suffocate? Wasn’t he going to bring the troops home? I guess they’re home now. Gosh. Who’s manning the bases?
        Which of “his political promises… (have) already been accomplished “?
        I doubt you’ll find many HRC/Obama/Biden fans here, but Trump’s pretty much followed the same policy path. This is the theme of Caitlin’s amusing argument, in case you skipped right to the comments. If Noam’s wrong, then so are you, in spades.
        I do agree with you about the lies. The nice thing about Trump is how transparent they are. The Dems have, until relatively recently, sometimes put a little more effort into the bafflegab. One spectacular and iconic exception, going back a few years, was Obama, in a noble show of racial solidarity, drinking a glass of Flint water. Not even Trump’s been that brazen. However, since the recent Iowa caucus, the dem’s have endorsed full-on in-your-face horseshit as a communications strategy, correctly observing how well it works; that enough otherwise intelligent people will believe practically anything, no matter how nonsensical.

    5. Anthony Christie Avatar
      Anthony Christie

      Sorry to be so muddled. Bad genes, maybe. I’m back on side with Bruce. I’m easy prey to false dichotomies, the absurdities of which Cailtlin nicely implicitly meta-narrates with her splendid example herein. If Chomsky is correct and there is indeed a lesser of evils (and even this isn’t a straightforward issue… I’ve seen leftist argument that Trump is this, not O’Biden, vis warmongering if nothing else), there is no contradiction between taking a half hour out of one day in November to disgustedly cast a ballot “for” it, all the while working one’s fingers to the bone to create and nurture a viable third party, for example, or any number of other useful political actions.

  7. OMG. I love your mind. I love your wit. Will you marry me? Nevermind that I’m old enough to be your father,…oh and also gay.

    You’re my favorite inbox alert.


  8. Betrayed Again!
    Bernie Sanders has caused me more effort and personal grief for the least amount of satisfaction of anyone I have ever known. No one else has asked so much of me and done so little, and not followed through on their promises. Please read this fine article here:
    Sanders Supporter Asks Why Did Sanders Not Carry on the Fight to the End? By Laurie Dobson


    Apr 9, 2020 Standing on the Precipice of Martial Law

    Matthew Ehret

    General O’Shaugnessy, the man who could be President.

    In my recent paper Why Assume There Will Be a 2020 Election?, I took the opportunity of today’s multifaceted crisis in order to revisit an important Wall Street-funded coup d’état effort of 1933-34.

  10. The powers of the world have been searching for the perfect boogie man. Nuclear weapons, communists, russia, china, drogs, terrorists etc. Who would guess the perfect boogie man would be germs. Let me take away your freedoms so i can protect you from germs. Here is how I am going to do it.

    1. Forced vaccination of everyone. You dont get vaccinated then you cant socialize with others. Cannot shop etc.
    2. Now we must be able to tell safe people from germ carriers. Everyone gets papers to show when entering store.
    3. Oh that is getting so tiresome. We will just microchip you and have alarms go off when non vacinated person enters. Dont worry we can put microchip in shot when you get vaccine.
    4. Based on your chip readout of your actions we can give you a social score on your good citizenship. Better score better perks.
    Mission Accomplished you arre now safe and more importantly safely controlled.

  11. The difference is, if you support Trump, you are a dupe of Putin and a Russian troll. If you support Biden, you are a dupe of China. What could be clearer than that?

  12. If Donald Trump has he way he will have as many one on one debates with Joe Biden that he can get. The more Joe Biden falls all over himself the bigger the Donald Trump margin of victory will be in November. It would be real nice if working people within these United States had a political party devoted to their interests instead of the billionaires.

    1. It blows my mind that there is one person on the planet who can make Trump look good and it’s the Democratic candidate for the presidency!
      There are alternatives such as the Socialist Equality Party, if people aren’t too afraid of the S word.

  13. Caitlin!

    I can’t believe you still peddle this tripe!

    A vote for either side is a vote for the system of plunder, slavery, and war.

    Wake the fuck up already!


    Steve De’ak

  14. Excellent piece.

  15. So … several decades ago while taking a psychology course, I found myself in the local pub drinking brew with none other than my professor. Discussion eventually rolled around to that day’s lecture which concerned choices and conflicts humans go through. There was the wonderful win-win approach-approach and the easy approach-avoidance conflicts. But we were confused about the avoidance-avoidance conflict …. could he perhaps give us an example? As the good professor laid down his glass he slurred seriously:
    “You find yourself buried neck-deep in a pile of shit and someone flings a bucket of snot at you. Do you duck?”
    Never forgotten it and have avoided being buried neck-deep in a pile of shit ever since.

    1. That was great. Thanks.

  16. Go vote — and get your “I am a sucker” decal.

  17. I had hoped that four years of shock therapy would be enough to wake us from our collective coma, but now it seems that we may require eight. The only real difference that I see between Trump and ‘Wizard of Oz’ Biden is that with the former we get another chance in four years, whereas with the Wiz (or more correctly, whoever that is behind the curtain), we may end up having to wait eight. An eventuality that, at 72 years of age, I dread. There is also the likelihood that eight years of the Wiz may actually deepen our coma, which would be disastrous. As a result, should I survive this plague until November, I am actually considering voting Republican for the first time in my life.

    1. There is no hope actually. Bernie and the progressive “leaders” successfully reduced the struggle between D and R rather than people vs oligarchy. The fire kindled by occupy wall street is now a torch serving DNCs campaign against Trump

  18. Perhaps, we should vote for the candidate who has the lower body count? Except I cannot figure out which one that is.

    1. One likely candidate pushed for and voted for the invasion of Iraq in 2003. The other didn’t.

      1. And one actively discouraged response to the coronavirus. His body count may easily equal the one for the person who brought us the Iraq War working with W.

  19. So well said, Ms. Caitlin. I made a graphic representation of exactly what you discussed today, but the two pictures of Bimp and Truden won’t come thru. Here’s the words at least.

    1. Misogynist
    2. Racist
    3. Serious allegations of sexual assault against women
    4. Family collusion with Russia
    5. Corporate tool
    6. Consummate liar
    7. Mentally unfit to serve as president

    Brand A

    Brand B[iden]

    1. Russia! Drink!

  20. Michel Bélisle Avatar
    Michel Bélisle

    Probably people will keep the habit to be confined when elections will come…

    Truly, we live in the return of the days of Noah just before the Second Coming of Jesus and I pray the Rosary to hasten His glorious return because I do have seen enough bs.

    Very interesting article by Mr Chuck Baldwin:

    Keeping my Rosary on hand!

  21. The Panic Is Real!

    I had no choice yesterday, I had to go out into the world to get things done. It was not a good day. Places that I normally go to were locked up and I was forced into extra travel time to get to other places of theirs still open. At one place you are not allowed inside without a mask on. At two other places only the drive-through windows are available and I do not have a car. I was forced to beg to cut into car lines and refused many times until a guy from New Jersey allowed me in front of him with my limp and cane. The people who are working are scared of everyone giving them the virus; it is keeping them from doing their jobs correctly. The final bus ride back to my apartment building took the cake as the bus driver drove past a small group of people because the bus was full. One of the people in that small group lives down the hall from me. Tomorrow I will be once again forced to go outside into this pandemic situation. It is not something I welcome.

  22. I can’t decide which pile of sh*t to vote for.

  23. Well, it looks like the Russian media had the scoop on Mr. Johnsons deterioration. And it turns out the British media are the ones that were peddling fake news and keeping the public in the dark. You can read this article here:
    Boris Johnson Fights for Life.. Russian Media Got it Right
    by Finian Cunningham!

  24. Uriel Carpenter Avatar
    Uriel Carpenter

    Just a quick thank you. Not only to Caitlin, but also to all a ya’ll who take the time to read and comment. I get depleted feeling so much rage, sadness, and impotence on my own sometimes, and laughter in good company seems to be my own best relief. In order to live to fight another day.

  25. Vote for me, I’ll do it. My affiliation is Green. I commit to sustainability. KDFP K-Dog for president.

  26. I plan on voting for whoever CNN tells me to vote for. It is my patriotic duty. My only question is should I wear my facemask and gloves when I go into the voting booth.

    1. If the wind is blowing from the east then yes. From the West then no. Unless it’s partly clouding then only wear one glove. Good luck and please don’t forget to place your vote directly in the trash bin on your way out the door.

    1. Yes, calling Sanders voters “Bros.” Great. You don’t live in the U.S., do you Caitlin? And I am forced to bail on you again, as I did right before the last election. If you are so interested in pursuing the truth above all else, I don’t know how you can drag out these tired tropes.

      President Trump: “I think mail-in voting is horrible, it’s corrupt.”

      Reporter: “You voted by mail in Florida’s election last month, didn’t you?”

      Trump: “Sure. I can vote by mail”

      Reporter: “How do you reconcile with that?”

      Trump: “Because I’m allowed to.”

      — MSNBC (@MSNBC) April 7, 2020

      1. As a former worker for Bernie in 2016, and a financial contributor to him and voter for him this time around, I suggest you take a harder look at the harsh reality Caitlin adeptly discloses in this fantasy post. Bernie had the right, for example, as a single senator, to have held up the recent bill giving trillions to bail out and increase the power of the plutocrats UNTIL it was amended so that the average American and the many in our country who struggle daily to survive were ALSO bailed out. He came up with such a bill, of course, a couple of days later WHEN ALL LEVERAGE TO PASS IT HAD BEEN LOST. This is by far the most stunning abdication of political leadership I’ve seen in my lifetime of 70 years, and only a few, like former Bernie supporter Jimmy Dore, have the insight and courage to lay it out COLD.

        1. This is not really about Bernie. This is about characterizing people, who are stuck between a rock and a hard place AGAIN, as Bernie Bros. Shame is not the way to go here. There is a serious danger this election will be decided by the right-wing Supreme Court again, and we all know how that turned out. The vote is under severe attack and who knows what will shake out in the next months. Biden is there so the movement by the finance elites will be tempered. They hate Bernie, but his voters are what really scare the living shit out of them. The stock market rose 700 pts on his withdrawal from the race. Yeah, you Monday morning quarterback all you like, but it’s not that simple. If you want to get an earlier knowledge of what’s really going on, go to wallstreetonparade dot com every day.

          1. Newton isn’t shaming supporters of Sanders. He is—rightfully so—shaming Sanders himself.

            People are catching on to the sad conclusion that Sanders is a tool.

            1. Newton is just creating a distraction. So are you.

          2. Bill, your sensitivity to the term “Bernie Bros” in the context of a satirical piece that in no way shames supporters of Sanders is a bit overwrought. It appears to me that Caitlin is expressing approval for the widespread view among supporters of Sanders that our vote is not “owned” and we generally detest the duopolistic puppet show.
            Biden, nor any Democrat, acts as a “tempering” force—they are enablers. Sorry for the distraction.

    2. If you think that, Stephen Kastner, you haven’t read much of Caitlin’s work. She is consistently (not always, but regularly) amazing

  27. Trump/Biden 2020; you have no choice! New World Ordure; Same Old Shit!

    1. That would make a great bumper sticker

  28. fooled again? shame on you, not on that life-long zionist.

  29. Ah, choose your pile of shit, please! Heads we win; tails you lose.

    1. My guess is that if enough people didn’t show up to vote nobody would notice.

      1. Which is why nobody should vote. Don’t give them anything resembling justification for their tyranny. Force your state to arbitrarily assign their electoral college delegates, and then try to claim that you are obligated by some imaginary “social contract” that authorizes their tyranny and your enslavement. No sane person desires to put a gun to their neighbors head and force them to do anything, except to force the neighbor to stop doing that to them. Politics: The science and art of getting the most people to believe the most preposterous lies. We can govern ourselves, or be governed by monsters. Could we actually do a worse job of it than the Sociopaths In Charge? Anarchy would be an improvement.

        1. Ever seen The Walking Dead?

  30. An important note from the great Douglass Adams…..
    “People often ask me how they can leave the planet, so I have prepared some brief notes.

        How to Leave the Planet
        I. Phone NASA. Their phone number is (713) 483-3111. Explain that it’s very important that you get away as soon as possible.
        2. If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have in the White House-(202) 456-1414-to have a word on your behalf with the guys at NASA.
        3. If you don’t have any friends in the White House, phone the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for 0107-095-295-9051). They don’t have any friends there either (at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a little influence, so you may as well try.
        4. If that also fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is infallible.
        5. If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying saucer and explain that de’s vitally important you get away before your phone bill arrives.

        Douglas Adams
        Los Angeles 1983 and
        London 1985/1986”

    1. More of this please, we need to laugh!

      1. there’s plenty more where that came from. This quote is on point. Reading the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy trilogy wouldn’t be a waste of your time.

        1. Keeping my towel at hand.

          1. John Anthony La Pietra Avatar
            John Anthony La Pietra

            about hyperspace travel: “It’s unpleasantly like being drunk.”

            “What’s so unpleasant about being drunk?”

            “You ask a glass of water.”

  31. For me, I’ll watch the polls closely in my state. What I expect to happen is that Trump will get clobbered around here, and lose my particular battleground state by a large margin. He lost the last time around, and by now Trump is much more unpopular.
    If that is true, then I’ll be free to vote for whomever I choose. The Green Party appears to be sitting this one out, as one would expect from an unofficial wing of the Democrat Party. Dr. Stein is not running, so her final act on the political stage will be when she ran the recount effort for Hillary. Last I heard the only name I recognized in their nomination field was Howie Hawkins who always runs going back as far as running against Nader IIRC. I can vote for Hawkins for President. Or, I might go more radical and vote for one of the many candidates splitting the socialist brand into oblivion.
    On the other hand, if the polls say it is close, then I’ve got to vote for Biden. Trump litterally wants me dead. Trump makes it quite clear that for him a great outcome is when I die from either starvation or inability to afford medical care. Trump wants me dead, so if it looks like Trump can win my state, then I’ve got to vote for Dementia Joe.
    When its life or death, and Trump has made clear that it is, then you’ve got to fight the guy who wants to kill you. Biden would be better than Trump. There is a difference. Its not a great one, and I don’t like Biden at all. But there is a difference, and for me its likely to be the difference between life and death.
    One thing to remember is that these elections are done on a state by state basis. Only about 20 of the 50 states are battleground states. Not all of those will be close by election day. There are lots of places where lots of people can vote for whomever they want and it won’t effect the outcome one little bit. So, if you see anyone ranting about who they can or can’t vote for, make sure you ask them what state they are in. Trump’s already lost CA and NY, and Biden has already lost Alabama.

      1. Anthony Christie Avatar
        Anthony Christie

        Yeah. They’re both killers. Yo Bruce. I’ve awoken from your (and Noam’s) siren song- induced slumber. Unpersuaded again.
        3rd party. Blow up the bad and build the good. Find down-ballot candidates who will help ease restrictions on establishment of new parties.

  32. UNLESS this is COMPLETE SATIRE, then I apologize for my tirade! Otherwise…

  33. Michael P Goldenberg Avatar
    Michael P Goldenberg

    Very good work. Mine is shorter and cruder: “Gee, the coming presidential election raises the question: Would you prefer syphilis or gonorrhea?”

    1. Julian Assange said something strikingly similar with regard to the Clump-Trinton “choice”.

      1. He did. He also said:” Every time we witness an injustice and do not act , we train our character to be passive and thereby eventually lose all ability to defend ourselves and those we love.”

        1. A terrific quote that encapsulates what Julian/Wikileaks is all about.

  34. As always you just knock it out of the park with your hard hitting but truthful sarcasm….!

  35. WOW! WHAT A STOOPID POST! As a conscientious NON VOTER, I would NEVER participate in the rigged US electoral system! Every rational person should carefully avoid any charlatan election advocate and ignore any of their irrational claims that “not voting for candidate X means voting for candidate Y”!!! That is RIDICULOUS nonsense, and especially in this election, not that this one is especially different from any other, there is no advantage to having either monster in the puppet POTUS office! IF YOU VOTE AT ALL YOU ARE SANCTIONING THE OLIGARCHY’S RULE OVER YOU/US!!! PLEASE BOYCOTT, RESIST, AND START THE REVOLT!!!!

  36. foster goodwill Avatar
    foster goodwill

    Although they only let us vote for dumb or dumber,the Dem. is usually less harmful in some ways. Two examples being they always lift the global gag order,(population control) and dont totally gut the EPA.

    1. Thry are just as harmful. When dems are in control they remove freedoms in certain areas. Then when the reps get in power they remove freedoms in other areas the dems missed. That is how it is done. They are not any better. View them as working together as they argue and you will understand the system better.

  37. NO, NO and hell NO. Vote green or anything besides Word salad Joe.

  38. I get emails from Bernie, lots of emails. I sent him $50 several times in 2015-2016, once in 2020, and $100 for his choice of coronavirus-unemployed charities recently.
    He sent me a long sob story email today about supporting that senile, child-molesting, Patriot-Act-writing, Clinton/Ukraine international mobster Groping-Joe Biden, and I replied with something very much like this characterization and “Vote Trump!”
    I’m interested in how/if they respond, because I’m one of the people who they kept sending surveys to, and I kept filling them out. I’m trying to embody the DNCs scary-poultergeist-shadow. I’ve paid for the privilege.. Anyway, I’m gonna’ vote Green Again, as I do when there’s no good candidate.
    If we vote…

    1. Voting ” Green ” for president keeps me guilt free after the election is over. The ” process ” is so flawed and corrupt it should be banned. As a matter of fact the whole United States government should be banned ASAP.

      1. The Euro greens think their American cousins are a Putin loving joke. Many would vote for Biden like my German Green uncle.

        What have the Greens accomplished and what have they done to earn your vote?

  39. Great humour and political truth! Good on you.

  40. This is among the best, if not the best, I have seen from you.

      1. “I hear others arguing that if refusing to vote for Truden is the same as voting for Bimp, then isn’t refusing to vote for Bimp the same as voting for Truden?”

        My favourite line. A penchant for logic wrapped in humour gets me every time.

  41. Caitlin, you are a goddamned treasure! I “borrow” your acerbic wit and throw it at the establishment on a daily basis, unattributed (well, sometimes I’ll put it in quotations). Thank you for fighting this good fight with us, and for being one of our most thoughtful buglers.

  42. “Rice*A*Romney….that must have Zombie Treat” a satire at FauxScienceSlayer(.)com > based on the true history of a century of CFR directed POTUS puppet shows

Leave a Reply