satire – Caitlin Johnstone

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Today's Caitlin Johnstone article has been replaced with a breaking news report from the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.Listen to this article:https://soundcloud.com/going_rogue/palestinian-infant-sustains-punching-related-injury-in-violent-clash-with-israeli-policeJERUSALEM -- A four-month old Palestinian infant has sustained fist-related injuries to the face on Saturday during a violent clash with Israeli police officers.Early

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Biden Passes Alzheimer’s Test With Flying Colors, Silencing Doubters

April 1, 2021

author: Caitlin Johnstone

78 Comments

2 likes

In a surprise move, President Biden live-streamed himself taking a cognitive test with a White House physician today in order to silence speculation that he is suffering from any type of degenerative neurological disease.During the test the president was asked to remember a series of

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BREAKING: Anonymous Sources Say US-Targeted Government Did An Invisible Bad Thing

March 24, 2021

author: Caitlin Johnstone

74 Comments

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We interrupt today's Caitlin Johnstone article with this breaking news report from the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.WASHINGTON -- One of the nations the United States government has targeted for destruction is guilty of doing a very bad thing that nobody can see, according to

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Op-Ed: The Exit Of 12,000 US Troops Is The Single Worst Event In German History

July 30, 2020

author: Caitlin Johnstone

42 Comments

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Today's Caitlin Johnstone essay has been replaced with a National News Conglomerate op-ed by General Hank Hammerfist. NNC: Obey.The Trump administration has begun slashing the US military presence in Germany from an almost satisfactory 36,000 troops to a practically microscopic 24,000. I think we can

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Hate China

May 23, 2020

author: Caitlin Johnstone

133 Comments

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It is China's fault that humans get sick, and that novel viruses sometimes occur.It is China's fault that millions of Americans are being thrown off their employer-provided health insurance.It is China's fault that your government is unrolling increasingly authoritarian measures during this pandemic instead of

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Op-Ed: Refusing To Vote For Truden Is The Same As Voting For Bimp

April 9, 2020

author: Caitlin Johnstone

108 Comments

1 likes

Today's Caitlin Johnstone article has been replaced with an op-ed by Snooty McCentrist of the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.Bernie Sanders has suspended his presidential primary run, leaving the 2020 race a simple contest between former Vice President Doe Truden and President Jonald Bimp. The

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DESPICABLE : Joe Biden Promotes Trumpian Conspiracy Theory That Joe Biden Has Dementia

March 14, 2020

author: Caitlin Johnstone

43 Comments

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During a "virtual town hall" staged to avoid public gatherings amid COVID-19 fears, former vice president Joe Biden advanced a disgusting, ageist, ableist conspiracy theory about the Democratic Party's presidential frontrunner, Joe Biden.Throughout the appearance, Biden repeatedly spoke in a befuddled, incoherent way, severely confusing

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Op-Ed: Stop Revolting, You Insolent Peons

February 25, 2020

author: Caitlin Johnstone

51 Comments

3 likes

Today's Caitlin Johnstone essay has been replaced with an op-ed by Snooty McCentrist of the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.Oh my God, stop this. Just stop. I've had it up to here with you insolent peasants and your would-be revolution. Stop this nonsense immediately before

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Intelligence Sources: All Candidates Are Russian Agents But Pete Buttigieg

February 23, 2020

author: Caitlin Johnstone

96 Comments

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Today's Caitlin Johnstone essay has been replaced by this breaking report by the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.Following shocking reports from The New York Times and The Washington Post that Moscow is simultaneously working to both re-elect Donald Trump and ensure the nomination of Vermont Senator Bernie

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Op-Ed: Dems Should Do The Sensible Thing And Nominate A Moderate Rapacious Psychopath

February 17, 2020

author: Caitlin Johnstone

96 Comments

4 likes

Editor's note: In order to circumvent internet censorship, today's Caitlin Johnstone essay has been replaced with an op-ed by Snooty McCentrist of the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.After Bernie Sanders failed to impress in his underwhelming consecutive victories in Iowa and New Hampshire, it's time

Palestinian Infant Sustains Punching-Related Injury In Violent Clash With Israeli Police

Biden Passes Alzheimer’s Test With Flying Colors, Silencing Doubters

BREAKING: Anonymous Sources Say US-Targeted Government Did An Invisible Bad Thing

Op-Ed: The Exit Of 12,000 US Troops Is The Single Worst Event In German History

Hate China

Op-Ed: Refusing To Vote For Truden Is The Same As Voting For Bimp

DESPICABLE : Joe Biden Promotes Trumpian Conspiracy Theory That Joe Biden Has Dementia

Op-Ed: Stop Revolting, You Insolent Peons

Intelligence Sources: All Candidates Are Russian Agents But Pete Buttigieg

Op-Ed: Dems Should Do The Sensible Thing And Nominate A Moderate Rapacious Psychopath

Copyright © 2021 by Caitlin Johnstone

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