Person A: Wow, things are looking really bad in Venezuela right now.

Person B: Yeah.

Person A: All that poverty and unrest!

Person B: I know, it’s terrible.

Person A: You know what we should do?

Person B: Please don’t say send in Godzilla.

Person A: What? Why not??

Person B: Because he always makes things worse! You know that! Every time we send in Godzilla to try and solve problems in the world, he just ends up trampling all over the city, knocking down buildings and killing thousands of people with his atomic heat beam.

Person A: Maybe this time would be different though!

Person B: Why in God’s name would this time be different?? You said it would be different in Iraq, in Libya, in Syria. What happened there?

Person A: He trampled all over the cities, knocked down the buildings and killed people with his atomic heat beam.

Person B: Exactly! So what makes you think sending in Godzilla would be any different this time?

Person A: Well we can’t just do nothing!

Person B: Dude, doing nothing would be infinitely better than sending in Godzilla to do the thing he literally always does.

Person A: Hey, inaction has consequences too you know! You probably don’t even talk to Venezuelans. My brother’s co-worker’s dentist is Venezuelan, and he says a Godzilla rampage is just what they need. You should listen to Venezuelans.

Person B: No matter how many Venezuelans I talk to, it will still be an indisputable fact that Godzilla rampages are always disastrous and always make things worse.

Person A: Why are you such a Maduro apologist?

Person B: What?!? I’m not a Maduro apologist! This has nothing to do with Maduro. I just remember what Godzilla is and the things he always does when we summon him up from the bottom of the sea to try and solve problems.

Person A: Look, I understand that Godzilla has made a mess of things in the past, that doesn’t mean you have to go around supporting Maduro.

Person B: I don’t support Maduro! Why do you always do this?? With Iraq you called me a Saddam apologist, with Libya you called me a Gaddafi supporter, with Syria I was an Assadist, and all I’m saying is that Godzilla is a giant nuclear monster that destroys everything in its path!

Person A: So I guess you just don’t care about the people of Venezuela then.

Person B: Of course I care about the people of Venezuela! That’s why I don’t want them to be trampled to death beneath the feet of a destructive nuclear behemoth!

Person A: Yeah but Venezuela is in dire straits right now. It’s not like sending in Godzilla could make things any worse.

Person B: Sending in Godzilla can definitely make things worse! Are you kidding me?? Have you seen Libya lately?

Person A: Oh, right, everything was so perfect in Libya before we sent in Godzilla to kill Gaddafi, I forgot. It was a perfect utopian paradise!

Person B: Nobody’s saying Libya was perfect under Gaddafi, but it was a hell of a lot better before Godzilla went on a chaotic rampage trampling and burning everything in sight. Now it’s a lawless humanitarian disaster!

Person A: You’re just a Godzilla-hating, Maduro-loving socialist.

Person B: This isn’t about socialism. It’s an established fact that sending in Godzilla literally always makes things worse and literally never makes things better. The only reason you keep shifting between straw man arguments and ad hominem attacks is because you know you’ve got no case. All you can do is keep calling me a Maduro supporter, saying I don’t care about the Venezuelan people, and saying it’s because I love socialism, when you know damn well I’m telling it like it is. Honestly, what do you think happens when we send in Godzilla again? Do you think he’s just going to be a cuddly wuddly nice guy all of a sudden and start solving problems with surgical precision?

Person A: Uhh… maybe?

Person B: He won’t! He never will! You keep hoping it will be different and it never, ever is! How do you keep making this same stupid mistake over and over again??

Person A: Well the TV told me this time it’s different.

Person B: They tell you that every time! It’s a narrative advanced by Godzilla rampage profiteers!

Person A: Hey, maybe it won’t even come to that. Maybe Mothra can sort of gently blow Maduro out?

Person B: Mothra hurts civilians too!

Person A: Nuh-uh. Her wind gusts are laser-targeted to solely affect Maduro and Venezuelan oligarchs.

Person B: That’s not even true! Anyway what happens when Mothra starts killing civilians?

Person A: Nothing a bit of Godzilla couldn’t fix.

Person B: Of course. Awesome. Excuse me, I need to go slam my head in the car door.



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41 responses to “If Every Debate About US Interventionism Was About Godzilla Instead”

  1. Andrew Wilson Avatar
    Andrew Wilson

    Wow! Check out Max Blumenthal’s visit to a Caracas supermarket:

    ….of course, ” we all know ” that Max, with Grayzone’s infinite resources, could have packed up a C-17 with all this stuff to stage this event, but then again, maybe not.
    He does a great job of pointing to the hyperinflation and speculation as the main drivers of the crisis. U.S. sanctions are aimed at destabilization and régime change, as Johnnyboy Bolton has made clear.

  2. really?

    Always true? Maybe you should thank Godzilla for saving the world from Nazy German occupation instead.

    Yeah, there are few examples where sending godzila might have not been a good idea. But there are examples in which godzilla saved the day. Literally.

    1. Yeah, BULLSHIT. WW II is the ONLY example where sending Godzilla saved things. A “few” as you put it includes a ton of wars in South America, Korea, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, and a bunch of smaller shit they are careful to keep secret. Also, learn to spell: It’s “Nazi”.

      1. Korea? Yeah, I bet South Korea is a shithole and would have been much better for whole Korea to be communist.

        Iraq is debatable if it was better or not after the us intervention. The intervention I would say was justified (somehow) but the aftermath was poorly managed. Same with Afghanistan, debatable.

        In South America there are few countries that quite benefited from US intervention or protectionism, like Chile or Costa Rica.

        The whole Cold War and keeping the communist at bay, plus the role USA had in bringing those communist regimes to an end.

        So no, Godzilla hasn’t always been a negative force how some people would like to point.

        1. Still bullshit. Are you really stupid enough to believe we started those wars for any reason other than to benefit US corporations?

    2. Little different story there. First of all, that was sending Godzilla in six years after Nazi Germany started attacking and occupying other countries (Kasserine Pass in 1943). Second, it was really the Soviet Union’s army that beat the Germans. The Americans and British didn’t really join the party until 1944. British soldiers did fight valiantly against the Germans in 1940, but were defeated along with France. I’m sorry to have to tell you that the U.S. Army has not really won a war since 1865.

      1. That sounds right.

      2. Also I wish they had lost that war in 1865. The world would have been a better place (excepting slavery) with a US minus the South.

  3. No need to bang one’s head on the door.
    Only put this question to Person A; What protection he has when Godzilla and Mothra hound and prey their origins ???
    I think person A won’t even have a door to bang his head then. He may not even have a limb them.

    A happy ending of the dialogue.
    Just visualise this happening.

  4. The best thing is the online conversations with Venezuelan oppositionists. They remind me of the Right in my own country – upper-middle-class and intellectuals or aspiring to become that, rabid, extreme, hysterical, hypocritical, parroting as God’s truth and as their own lived experience all the partisan ideological propaganda financed by US-aligned domestic plutocrats and by the US itself, worshipping the US and other rich countries in hope of thereby becoming equally rich themselves, erasing and denying all legitimacy to the opinions and voting rights of their fellow citizens with different political views or belonging to a different social class, eager to use foreign support to crush their domestic political opponents instead of engaging with them politically. They make me imagine the following conversation, which could have taken place a few years ago.
    Republican: Help, we are ruled by a black Muslim socialist dictator who is violating the constitution and taking away our freedoms! Even his election to the presidency was illegal, since he was born in Kenya. Now he is mismanaging the economy, trampling on our civil liberties, spying on us illegally, plotting with his fellow Muslim terrorists to betray the country, implementing a treasonous deal with his Muslim friends in Iran in order to allow them to develop nuclear weapons, and enforcing socialist tyranny with his anti-constitutional laws. America is in its death throes, soon nothing will be left of this once great country. Please, Russia, enforce a trade embargo on the US, invade, carpet bomb the totalitarian liberals and free us from their tyranny!
    Russian: Hmm, something tells me that you may not be presenting the facts entirely objectively and in a non-partisan way. Obama may be far from perfect, but isn’t it a bit exaggerated to describe him as a dictator, as long as oppositionists like you are not dead or imprisoned and you can participate in elections?
    Republican: How dare you lecture me about my own country, you smartass? Listen, I’m an American, I live here, and I know first-hand what horrible situation my country is in. I can sit here telling you true facts about Obama all day and you can’t answer anything, because you haven’t been informing yourself by watching Fox News every day for years like I have. How can you presume to know my country better than I do? That’s typical Eastern arrogance. Your Slavic privilege is showing, Moscow boy! It’s easy for you to live in your apartment in Russia under a decent patriotic leader like Putin, whereas I have to live in this hellhole and suffer under Obama’s oppression every single day! Everybody’s life has been getting worse and worse for a long time, all because of liberal policies.
    Russian: In any case, attacking the USA would be interference in its internal affairs, and the Russian Federation respects national sovereignty.
    Republican: What sovereignty are you talking about, don’t you realise how our leadership is infiltrated by Saudi and Iranian lobbyists? They are taking advantage of us, filling us with Muslim immigrants and sucking our lifeblood every single day! Sounds like you are only against Russian interventionism, but you are OK with Muslim interventionism!
    Russian: But a trade embargo will hurt the people in general and an invasion is bound to result in the deaths of many innocent Americans, including women and children. We don’t want to be responsible for that.
    Republican: Trust me, any number of deaths is worth it if we can get rid of Obama and the Democrats! As an American, I hereby absolve you in advance of any deaths of my fellow-citizens that ensue from the invasion. Hell, once victory is won, we real Americans will build you a monument to thank you for all the civilians you end up killing, I promise!
    Of course, nowadays, one can imagine a Democrat having the same conversation with a Canadian, begging him to save the US and the world from the fascist autocrat, traitor and Russian agent that has usurped power and is destroying the country and the planet. What makes these amusing dialogues impossible IRL? Russia and Canada don’t have enough money to cultivate opposition groups and foster crises; Russia and Canada don’t have sufficiently strong militaries to invade the US; the US has nuclear weapons.

    1. I forgot one final part of the dialogue:
      Republican: But if you Russians don’t help us, how can we solve our problem then?
      Russian: Well, how about you actually try to convince, on your own, the majority of your fellow-citizens to vote for you? Or, if Obama really is a dictator rigging the elections by means of voter fraud, how about you actually try to convince, on your own, the majority of your fellow-citizens to rebel against him? After all, you say the people of the USA is on your side. If that’s true, you shouldn’t need a foreign empire to help you.
      Republican: Oh s**t… I was so hoping that we could somehow skip the ‘convincing’ part and just have those annoying f***s carpet bombed by you instead.
      Russian: Sorry to disappoint you.

  5. Caitlin as usual drives a bulldozer through sloppy thinking.
    What she did in this article really works.

  6. I expect you have watched Tommy Robinson’s takedown of BBC Panorama? I just did and was impressed – the boy did good. What is very scarey is that though tommy put it out on Facebook and Utube they have both now blocked it, and facebook banned tommy completely (he may also still be blocked from Twetter). This shows the power of the elitist leftwing media cabal. BBC furious at being exposed so gets its MI6 handlers to talk to CIA mates to tell Facebook, utube etc to block free speech again. What else are the deep state banning? You can find Tommy’s documentary here if you missed it.

    Lets pass it far and wide. .


  7. There is this sort of implication that Godzilla does bad things because he is clumsy. The thing is, he is not clumsy – he is simply controlled and directed by people and corporations that make a shitload of money from all the destruction – every bullet that is fired, every bomb that is dropped from a billion dollar airplane has to be REPLACED, and those people and corporations are all too happy to do just that. It is all intentional. Capitalism contains the seeds of its own destruction.

  8. The article seems to suggest that the U.S. may be well intentioned but clumsy.
    I think we know that is not the case.

    It’s about oil, money (companies had property seized by Chavez) and domination.

    To claim otherwise is obtuse.

    Humanitarian intervention is the somewhat tongue in cheek rational.

    There are three constuencies that matter is U.S. version of democracy:
    – MIC (money)
    – Banks (money)
    – Oil Industry (money)
    – and Oligarchic Wealthy (money)

    As Carlin observed: The feral government is the entertainment division of the MIC.

  9. No humor, lest we forget (Collateral Murder):

  10. Klaus von Berlin Avatar
    Klaus von Berlin

    Excellent Caitlyn .George Orwell once noted that In free societies ,censorship is more sophisticated and thorough than in dictatorships because “unpopular ideas can be silenced , and inconvenient facts kept dark, without any need for an official ban” Media corporation have homogenized news especially Tv news this cartel for information is presented more as entertainment than news Inconvenient facts about Venezuela are reckless at best and potentially disastrous for the citizen of Venezuela

  11. William Stauffer Avatar
    William Stauffer

    It’s two minutes to Godzilla time! Take that carbon footprint!

  12. Caitlyn,
    Below are comments that I received when I shared your post to the intellectuals in a local political group that I visit. It is just Mind-Boggleing!

    R Michael Beem More stupidity smh

    Dave Sheets
    Dave Sheets Really?… Godzilla? Wasn’t that the monster that saved the Japanese from the US military?

    Rex Kallembach Mr. Doerr – I will engage.

    “It’s an established fact that sending in Godzilla literally always makes things worse and literally never makes things better”.

    Rex Kallembach
    Rex Kallembach Replacing Godzilla with USA policy – do you really believe this statement?

    “It’s an established fact that sending in USA policy literally always makes things worse and literally never makes things better”.

    R Michael Beem
    R Michael Beem Rex Kallembach he does.

    R Michael Beem
    R Michael Beem Rex Kallembach that’s the end game of socialism and anti-americanism that Mr. Doerr fully supports.

  13. Libya was the African country with the highest Human Development Index before we turned it into an open air slave market.

  14. Another Zionist scum bag sack-of-shit!
    “In Face of Yellow-Vest Critics, France Moves to Criminalize Anti-Zionism”

  15. Godzilla works for Israel!
    “Mohsen Abdelmoumen: How do you explain the submission of Western governments and their media to Israel?”

  16. Lol, priceless. Clarity + hiliarity. I will find someplace to share it. And sadly probably it can be repeated for the next war.

  17. Fascinating to see Godzilla as an allegory to Washington’s Bullets and Bombs. Especially when one considers the origin of Godzilla. Godzilla of course originally appeared in Japanese (not Hollywood) movies after WW2. Specifically, after Japan became the first nation in the world to be nuked by America. So, in Japanese movies of the 1950’s, a Japanese monster arises from nuclear waste seeking retribution.

  18. A disturbingly true assessment. But who is listening to you, or the thousands of other seers and adjusting their beliefs? MSM is, as it has always been, the mouthpiece of the profiteers, and thanks to endless repetitions of the mantra that they are even-handed and tell the truth, the vast majority believe what they write/say is the truth. And the vast majority elect politicians who also believe that propaganda. There is no solution to human behaviour. It is the result of evolutionary necessity. Revolutions also change nothing because nothing can change humans once they’re programmed. [horses and water and stuff] All that thinking people can do is make a place for themselves where they feel as safe and free as possible to do as they like.

    1. All the more reason to help others reach for the real truth!
      Caitlin Quote:
      “I write about US politics because that’s where I reckon the head of the beast is,” Johnstone explains on her blog page. “Australia is essentially an intelligence/military asset of the US-centralized international empire, so there’s no point writing about Aussie politics if I’m interested in helping our species avoid extinction. And that’s really the only reason I write.

    2. ” MSM is, as it has always been, the mouthpiece of the profiteers, and thanks to endless repetitions of the mantra that they are even-handed and tell the truth, the vast majority believe what they write/say is the truth. ”

      Maddening, isn’t it? A great many of those people who believe most of what Trump/Pompeo/Bolton/Abrams/MSM say about Venezuela know — but don’t want to remember — that these same critters were wrong about Vietnam, Nicaragua, Afghanistan, Iraq, Somalia, Libya and Syria.


  19. All the above plus:

    B: Why do you fear socialism policies? They were doing okay until our economic sanctions( war crimes) made it worse.

    B: Is socialism just for the rich like when we bailout the big banks but not good for millions of workers when Venezuela nationalized their oil profits?

  20. Eventually Godzilla will turn against the hand that feeds it as history of mankind always repeats itself and has proven over time. This is not good news, as the monster is and was always bloodthirsty but just under different disguises, flags and trademarks. Once both or the majority of differing opinions unite within the fight of brothers and start focussing on the real evil that has been done to the world since the beginning of time when GODzilla was designed, only then the mirage and illusion of the bloodthirsty monster will vanish and showing its true disgusting face and concepts of the crippled and intellectual evil dwarf that the pretender of giants really is.

  21. An hilarious tour de force even for Caitlin!!

    Yes, the whole Venezuela is truly THIS ludicrous and absurd!! And frankly I would love to send Godzilla to Washington D.C. to thoroughly smash the Capitol, White House, Pentagon, and any other buildings which might be providing refuge for the truly demonic neocon/Zionist/imperialist warmongering chicken-hawks behind this whole preposterous coup d’etat fiasco!! “Hands Off Venezuela!! Donald Trump, Hands Off Venezuela!! Exactly right, ACTUAL President, Nicolas Maduro!!

    1. Great idea! Send Godzilla to Washington D.C. ASAP

  22. Dear Caitlin, because of Sanders’ most recent statements, you might want to consider adding “Thought # 7” to your article entitled “Six Thoughts On Bernie 2020”. Please feel free to do a little “meddling” in The Greatest Nation On Earth’s” demon-cracy.

  23. Jamarl Thomas at The Progressive Soapbox “Bernie Sanders Latest Tweet On Venezuela Is Disingenuous, Morally Reprehensible & He Knows It”

    1. Great work Linda!

  24. Kyle Kulinski at Secular talk just posted “Bernie Swings & Misses On Venezuela”

  25. You are precious Caitlin..You speak truths.

  26. IMO, we’re seeing the results of unrestrained US capitalism in the last few election cycles.
    Afganastan, Iraq, Libya, Syria toss in Haiti for good measure … no democracy, no salvation, no peace; just chaos and pilfering.
    We’re in the very final stage now, blatent PIRACY! Pirates Of The Carrabean.

  27. Great rant by Jimmy Dore today “Bernie Repeats CIA Talking Points On Venezuela”

  28. Poor Maduro (or Godzilla) getting a bad rap! And, they’ve SO little multipurpose utility!

    Better to drag in “Hillary”, “Obama” or “Pelosi”, … when the argument gets weak and flimsy.
    These are good for multiple use distracting, across all platforms!

    And as for Godzilla, after destroying everything, he never cleans up after himself. Just lumbers off self-satisfied, and self-congratulating, … until the next time

  29. It’s “ad hominem,” but I kinda like “ad homonym” too. Otherwise, this is a hoot & a half.
    —dbc, 10 years a Latin teacher.

  30. “We had to destroy the villiage (nation) in order to save it.”

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