HomeArticleOp-Ed: Dems Should Do The Sensible Thing And Nominate A Moderate Rapacious Psychopath

Op-Ed: Dems Should Do The Sensible Thing And Nominate A Moderate Rapacious Psychopath

Editor’s note: In order to circumvent internet censorship, today’s Caitlin Johnstone essay has been replaced with an op-ed by Snooty McCentrist of the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.

After Bernie Sanders failed to impress in his underwhelming consecutive victories in Iowa and New Hampshire, it’s time for his far-far-left extremist base to grow up and face reality: there’s no way he can beat Trump. Especially with people like me churning out all these op-eds every day to make sure that he can’t.

Face it, Democrats: Sanders is no frontrunner. As the always rational adult in the room Chris Matthews recently pointed out, if you compare his New Hampshire votes to the combined vote total of moderate candidates Pete Buttigieg, Joe Biden and Amy Klobuchar, he’s actually trailing far behind. Sanders clocked in at a paltry 26 percent of total votes, while the triune electoral threegernaut Klobdenbutt amassed a whopping 53 percent. Now, you don’t have to be Andrew Yang to figure out that 53 is more than 26.

That’s not my opinion. That’s math.

If you can’t take it from me, take it from the cold, hard numbers: if Democrats want to beat Trump, they need to nominate a centrist. Someone who rejects the extremes of Bernie’s far left and Trump’s far right and instead espouses sensible, middle-of-the-road values like endless war and military expansionism, rapacious ecocide, corrupt plutocracy, crushing domestic austerity measures, new cold war nuclear escalations, continued deregulation of sociopathic financial and commercial institutions, police militarization, unprecedented levels of imprisonment, Orwellian surveillance programs, internet censorship, and ever-mounting authoritarianism.

You know, the moderate position.

Because think about it, Bernie Bros: if you resist the DNC’s attempt to elevate a sensible candidate like Mike Bloomberg to your party’s nomination just because you don’t want a racist Republican billionaire oligarch authoritarian with dozens of allegations of sexual misconduct against women to be your president, then you’re stuck with Donald Trump.

Chew on that prospect for a minute.

You need to be more realistic, Bernie bros. How can Bernie possibly win when we’re doing everything we can to prevent him from winning? We’re telling you he’s not electable, and no one would know better than us: we’re the ones making sure he stays that way.

Seriously, stop being such insolent little shits. I’m here presenting very forceful arguments using a confident and assertive tone in a high-profile news outlet, and you’re meant to obey. This is an op-ed. I have a professional headshot photo next to my name. That means you think what I tell you to think.

What exactly do you unwashed riff raff think democracy even is, anyway? Some kind of ponies-and-unicorns fantasy land where people get to just have the candidate they want to have, just because that’s what most of them want? That kind of pie-in-the-sky dreaming is for people who don’t have the entire billionaire media engine pointed at sabotaging them at every turn.

But if you give us a Mike Bloomberg, for example, we’ll just let him sail right on through. Hell, if we can get two right-wing billionaires staging a made-for-TV kayfabe spat over the presidency from July to November we’ll never stop amping that shit. Holy God, imagine the ratings!


Stop living in a childish fantasy world where the environment is real and war is something you need to think about and people shouldn’t die if they don’t have the correct imaginary numbers in their bank account. Let the realists whose entire worldview is built around made-up narratives and a make-believe economy tell you what to do.

Do as we say. Just do it. Just bend over and let us install a nice moderate psychopath, and this will be over before you know it. Relax, take a deep breath, and think nice, pleasant thoughts until November. Dream one of those wacky dreams you airy fairy hippies are always having, like having a real healthcare system or something.

Anyway, I’m going to send this off to my editor. The next fifty op-eds I write will be garment-rending outrage over the comments this one receives on Twitter.


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Latest comments

  • There are no legitimate U.S. presidential candidates. This election, like prior elections, is not legitimate either. Our entire government is illegitimate, and it has been for over 100 years. It weaponizes viruses and releases them on the unsuspecting public, for Pete’s sake! Why do we participate in this charade? Why do we tolerate such evil? Why? Because we are slaves to their system.

  • “Editor’s note: In order to circumvent internet censorship, today’s Caitlin Johnstone essay has been replaced with an op-ed by Snooty McCentrist of the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.”
    Love it. Exactly limns our wonderfully manic times. Thank you Snooty McCentrist and its oh so sly ventriloquist.

  • Many dissidents know that the democratic process and political system are part of population brain-washing and control. Agents of the “establishment” have an easy task indoctrinating the masses with BIG Money. Where is the plan for effective revolutionary action we need to eliminate sociopaths and clear the way for a brave new world? Effective revolutionary action requires activists to link up and synergize with other activists, then network with more teams of activists. Read more of this here: http://www.wisdompage.com/2013%20Articles/Molyneaux%20essay.pdf

  • Bloomberg is nothing but trouble. He craves power and does not mind wielding it. I would rather have nutty Sanders than dictator bloomberg.

    • Except for the unfortunate fact that Bernie for decades was extolling “socialism” (despite the fact that he was referring to democratic socialism, as in northern Europe ) and he will be hung with that in the industrial Midwest. You can bet your bottom dollar that Trump will push that hard and get himself a second term.

  • Mike Bloomberg: Trojan Horse For Clintonista Revival
    “It’s been obvious to me since he declared that Mike Bloomberg is not a serious candidate for the Democratic nomination. He is everything the Democratic base doesn’t want — white, billionaire, oligarch, Wall St. 0.000001%’er.
    This way, he can have his turn as the front-runner, rising far enough on his money to earn some delegates and ensure a brokered convention. Then hand them to Hillary as a gracious peace offering.
    This is about manufacturing Hillary as the unity candidate of a failing Democratic Party while sidelining Bernie in the process. That’s the game plan folks.”

    • I have seen this article, and frankly, it is deluded. Hillary Rodham Clinton was a Trojan horse of the coterie that includes Michael Rubens Bloomberg. But it was a Trojan horse that failed. And with other “centrists” failing, Michael Rubens Bloomberg concluded that the utility of the tactic is over, it is time for the population to see a real boss and to adore him directly.

  • Voters are not being “forced” to vote for Bloomberg.

  • The Democrats should do the sensible thing and nominate a Progressive rapacious psychopath, who will wage the American Empire’s wars of aggression, regime change ops, and economic siege warfare campaigns with a Liberal Democratic mask … like Bernie “Hope and Change 2.0” Sanders!

    Such is the nature of American Democracy in general: Democrat War Criminals vs. Republican War Criminals.

    The only difference is the political mask that they wear.

    Sanders tells New York Times he would consider a preemptive strike against Iran or North Korea

    Washington Post war hawk Jackson Diehl lauds Sanders’ foreign policy

    • Although the article cited from 2/14 has a headline that FALSELY credits “Sanders” for these responses, the truth is slightly further down in the article stating, “The answers provided by Sanders’ campaign”. Personally, I find Sanders’ OWN WORDS to be quite concerning, nevertheless, our knowledge of ‘organizations’ misrepresenting individuals, including those who the organization is portrayed to ‘represent’ as their primary function, has ‘traditionally’ made inaccurate responses ‘on behalf’ of the individual. The headline AND YOUR COMMENT, are inaccurate since “Sanders” didn’t answer these questions. The campaign’ did. These DETAILS MATTER in real life, even if not to you, USA-ma Bin Laden.

      • Bernie Sanders is not responsible for the responses of his campaign to a major media outlet like the New York Times? And Sanders would not review and approve these responses, given their political significance?

        Get real.

        That is not credible and really a pathetic alibi for the Sheepdog Sanders

        The New York Times is the Newspaper of Record. You can be sure that Sanders himself would be very concerned to make sure that his positions are accurately represented by this outlet.

        • That “Newspaper of Record” has a history of “reporting” pro-WAR and status-quo corporate/MIC propaganda for decades and eliminates honest journalists (Chris Hedges, for example).
          As for Bernie, I don’t think he is all that aware of what his “campaign” does or says and I am not, at present, a supporter of his.
          I do, however, think that those who listen to people who claim to speak-on-others’-behalf ought to DIRECTLY re-affirmed through conversation with the individual being represented to avoid unnecessary “telephone game” confusion. I don’t trust any of these political operatives or corporate media, nor do I trust Bernie, but I do think, as observers of this ‘circus’, that we need to avoid confusing what a person is “credited” with saying and what that person actually takes “credit” for saying out of their own mouth, unless there is credible video evidence of them saying it.
          Fact is, the headline and the content make different claims.
          Headlines are click-bait. Why didn’t you quote the content?
          (because the click-bait headline is more sensational? That is a question, not an accusation.)
          People get fired from campaigns all the time for misrepresentation or other inappropriate conduct.
          I’m just trying to keep the info being dispersed on a more direct level than the “telephone game” (I believe you played) by ignoring the clarifying content in the article.
          Frankly, I have been in agreement with many of your other comments here on Caitlin’s site.
          Bernie’s got good ideas, I supported him in 2016. I just don’t think he’s that ‘sharp’ to keep ‘on top’ of all that is being said on his behalf.
          Had this comment section offered “edit” capabilities, I would have removed my personalized remark at the end shortly after posting, but it’s not available.
          I abhor the whole propagandistic claim of “The New York Times is the Newspaper of Record” which is only true if we want to AFFIRM the “record” of the propaganda of the WAR-machine SUPPORTING the illegal and immoral corporate-genocide of Earth and humanity as the only info worthy of “record”.
          I consider Caitlin’s blog and many other non-corporate media significantly more credible… actually useful and worthy of promoting.

  • Do right.
    Do it right.
    Do it right now.
    Sanders / Gabbard

  • Flatfoot vs. Bonespurs. (Yes, Bloomberg got out of serving because of his flatfeet.) Funny that two NY billionaires running for president have a hard time standing… for anything.

    It’s an age old battle, fighting against the banking elite, who’d just as soon reinstall child labor and revoke ALL basic human rights. But here we are again, making that age old decision:

    “So the real question from the 1980s on was about who would be the basic planning center of society. Would it be the financial sector – the banks and bondholders, whose interest is really the One Percent that own most of the banks’ bonds and stocks?

    Or, is it going to be governments trying to subsidize the economy to help the 99 Percent grow and prosper? That was the social democratic view opposed by Thatcherism and Reaganism.” ~ Michael Hudson

  • good as always. I have a suggestion: explain how to recognize a “con”. It’s also tied to knowing yourself: your addictions, your greed, appetites, what you want that you don’t have. Lots of material. thank you for your insights.

  • Our salvation no longer exists in the ballot box. If want real change, we will need to make it with our own might.

    • Yes agreed, but how exactly do we make it with our own might?

    • In the interests of NOT creating more violence for younger generations to ‘inherit’, I prefer the approach of withdrawing support from the ‘structures’ of oppression, inequality and injustice NON-confrontationally and NON-violently, possibly incorporating “simultaneous disconnect” where individuals, in increasing numbers, simultaneously “disconnet” from “networks” (I’m talking about “devices” that connect to “networks”) at a predetermined time (to be adjusted for time-zones) to show solidarity on a particular matter or group of issues.
      This can be done anywhere, don’t have to leave work or go anywhere in particular. Doesn’t cost anything, is non-confrontational, is non-violent, it’s LEGAL, and can gradually or suddenly increase in participation as awareness of the method spreads across the ‘developed’ world.
      Tens of millions of U.S. PEACE advocates simultaneously disconnecting could be effective in making a ‘statement’ that the ‘systems’ of oppression would not be able to ignore. Simultaneous RE-connect might even make a more significant impact on these ‘systems’.
      “might” can come in many forms, including “I might not participate” in civilization’s nightmares.
      Anyone have any other non-confrontational and non-violent ideas?

  • LOL!! Bravo Caitlin! Now I have to find someplace to share a link to it, someplace where people are woke enough to get it, but not so woke they will take it as a personal attack….

  • Okay, Caitlin, I’m sold, again! Not only do you consistently produce outstanding articles about the real world we live in, as opposed to the oligarch-media-created narrative we rubes are meant to accept, buy you also have a once-unknown talent for satire. Please continue to do what you do; yours is the only work I read cover to cover every time you publish something. BTW, I learn nearly as much from your commenters (on this site) as I do from you. You are followed by some extremely bright people (excepting me – I’m still learning). Thanks, as always, for your excellent work.

    • Another BTW. Acknowledging that “Twitter isn’t real life,” we need to understand that, for a significant number of “journalists,” trolling Twitter and adding/retweeting/citing/copying/etc. tweets from those they follow is pretty much all they do. IMO, this magnifies the impact that Twitter has on discourse well beyond what we might expect if “journalists” were doing what they did in the past; i.e., search out and report on newsworthy events. It’s all Twitter for many of them, and that affects what they push out in the mainstream media.

  • I acknowledge that previously giving a link to a Bloomberg website to see a dispassionate discussion of his charitable activities was not the most intellectually solid move. So try this:

    Through Bloomberg Philanthropies, the billionaire has donated an estimated $8 billion to gun control, climate change and other causes, according to Forbes. Alongside fellow billionaires Bill Gates and Warren Buffett, Bloomberg has signed the Giving Pledge, vowing to donate at least half of his wealth to charity.

    He is anything but perfect, but contrast his CV to the current president. It’s laughable!

    Michael Bloomberg Tops Philanthropy 50 as Records for Billion-Dollar Giving Are Set – The Chronicle of Philanthropy


    • No.
      And NO.

    • To a man who’s more wealthy than some nations, philanthropy is chump change. PR expenses. I suggest you read up some on philanthropy right here.

  • I propose that on the one hand Bernie Sanders is not a total idiot, but on the other hand if he even suspects that the Overlords of the Democratic Party would under any circumstances ever let him win the nomination of “their” party, he is in fact a total idiot, that, or he’s in reality not a serious candidate. Apparently he learned nothing last go around even if he did make some pretty good money in the process. If he’s at all serious, he needs to go third party ASAP for this particular run because “it ain’t gonna happen” and after this year… I hate to suggest it but he’s not exactly a Spring Chicken. Blue isn’t having any of Bernie even if a large part their own electorate is apparently willing to riot in the streets when the predictable and very public Bernie screwing repeats itself. On the third hand, if the Overlords accept the reality that Trump simply cannot be beat, they may note that the Republicans have historically put up designated losers all the time so maybe it’s the Dem’s turn. After all, even if Bernie actually gets into the White House he’d be so surrounded by the Deep State entrenched bureaucrats it would pretty well duplicate the Obama administration for all practical purposes and the impending economic crash could then be blamed on Bernie’s brand of “Socialism”.

    • Telling us you are way smarter than Bernie is just LLoyd masturbating his self-importance.
      Bernie has done what countless others have only dreamed of, and he did not get this far by being dumber than LLoyd.

  • Love you Caitlin!!!

  • I guess it was just wishful thinking that after three terms as our mayor that Mike Bloomberg’s name, and he, would fade out of the political picture. But alas here he is again trying to buy ” the presidency ” the same way he that he bought being mayor. You would think that the working people that are in the democratic party have had enough crap from their ” party non leaders ” who sell them out at every turn. Some relevant articles:

    • Many thanks for the links; well worth reading.

  • Good reading here:


    In a way, it is depressing to be aware of that but it is the truth.

    For sure, we live in the return of the days of Noah. The good news is that it means the return of Jesus is near and I pray the Rosary to hasten His return because I have seen more than enough bs.

  • Loved the satire. But…

    “Words, words, words.” This was Hamlet’s answer to Polonius.
    This “words, words, words” has a deeply tragic meaning in the play. It is, in fact, the secret of Hamlet’s character, the cause of the tragedy, Hamlet is the Zen-less man, whose energy, like a mouse in a wheel, goes round and round inside him and issues, not in action, but in talking. When he does act, … the final duel and killing of the king, he acts well, but it is spasmodic, it has no guiding principle in it, leads to nothing, adds difficulties instead of solving them as action would. (Source: Zen in English Literature and Oriental Classics by R.H. Blyth, 1942)

    Meanwhile, on the action front is the remarkable Lisa Fithian, global activist extraordinaire, who said in a recent interview: “If we’re not willing to create the kind of disruption that will force the power-holders to make different choices, we’re going to continue to be dealing with a lot of pain.” (Source: Shortlink https://wp.me/pO0No-563 )

  • The US can only afford to give free stuff to the MIC and corporations who do the politicians favors.

  • Personally I think Bernie is a dead end – as with AOC and crew there is no future in giving-out free stuff and in attacking the sources of our income. I do feel things could be more fair, but dont see that Bernie addresses that issue. And not sure about his global politics. There was an excellent comment on MoA I would like to share:

    Here’s another view:
    Zionist Bloomberg and Zionist Biden and Zionist Buttigieg and Zionist Klubachar and Zionist Warren and Zionist Sanders competing to race against Zionist Trump.
    I think I know who the winners and losers are already.
    But they do put on a good show, don’t they?
    !! – JackRabbit

    There is also some rumor that certain of the crew are literal agents of the underworld (CIA).

    There’s only one decent candidate (IMO). Seems she doesnt stand much chance but I appreciate her words and effort. Being a hero does not mean you are the winner.

    Anyway. Caitlin, there should be a Davos like event for serious journalists. Could honor Assange. Roger Waters MoC.

    • The US can only afford to give free stuff to the MIC and corporations who do the politicians favors.

    • Personally – i hink you are an egomaniac who cannot tell your arse from your elbow, an imitator of Trump.

    • Personally – i think you are an egomaniac who cannot tell your arse from your elbow, a talentless imitator of Trump.

  • Timely and gut-bustingly funny piece here, Caitlin. I hope the poster “Dana” who posted in your comments section the other day and who was propounding how great and “practical” a choice Bloombag would be, is reading this satire today. You rock the house, Caitlin! I love your brain. Snooty McCentrist is the perfect name for these clownish latte libs. Thank you.

  • I agree with you 1000%. Nonetheless, The Burn is no panacea. Like it or not he just has better camouflage of all of his sleazy ways and it seems it has gone on for decades. I used to like The Burn and was a Burnie Supporter. But as humanity has known since the beginning of time humans are weak and money makes them weaker. The Burn will be as bad and maybe worse than any. It is futile to expect anything else.

    I do not like The Donald but I can see what slime the Democratic Party has become over my lifetime and its not something I can support. Hillary, Barry, Billy Bob and now Uncle Joe are all pieces of human garbage. I was a lifelong Democrat but I guess I am a slow learner. I even Voted for Barry and Hillary. I admit I was meditating with Jack Daniels and Jim Beam and came to realize they were false prophets. It is a depressing state we find ourselves in the US today. And it is unbridled Capitalism that has brought us to this juncture.

    I don’t have a solution. Perhaps if a large majority stopped paying income tax it could cause a cardiac arrest of the system. Non-violent and just say no to taxation without true representation. I know someone said that before but it is more true today than ever.

    Money is poison and it flows thru the veins of every Western Politician. They most likely bleed green.

    • Your cynicism is depraved and disgusting.

  • You are one of favorite authors and artists. Keep up the absolutely necessary work you do. Thanks from California. Please everybody, send a little money.

  • “The marketing of Bloomberg involves distortions so grotesque that one commentator recalled the massive advertising campaign by Ford Motor Company, in the early days of television, to promote an exciting new model named the Edsel, arguably the ugliest and most unsuccessful car ever produced.”

    I would use a more recent icon to depict the “Bloomberg hustle” it’s more like selling the Boeing 737 MAX. A big shiny impressive buildup for a dysfunctioning product crashing into a ball of flames igniting the illusionary remains of an already shady electoral process.

    Bloomberg, can buy off a slew of bourgeois black pastors and local politicians from NYC to LA but how does cash mitigate the psychological damage done to hundreds of thousands of blacks and Muslims traumatized by his racist policies. .

    The nature of Bloomberg’s candidacy is best described in an article entitled: Freedom Rider: Negroes for Bloomberg by Margaret Kimberly senior editor of the Black Agenda Report: “The black misleadership class of compromised and callow politicians were tailor-made for this onslaught of Bloomberg’s cash. These mayors, congresspersons and state legislators play a dubious role in our system. They give cover to the powerful while giving lip service to the people. The end result is a political system that gives us nothing that we need or want, even when Democrats are in office.

    Every four years Bloomberg toyed with the idea of running for president but he didn’t throw his hat into the ring until now. In 2020 he was motivated not by a desire to be president himself, but by the need to stop Bernie Sanders should he gain momentum in the early primaries and caucuses. Bloomberg has correctly concluded that he can use his money to muddy the waters if Democratic Party voters dare to think of their own needs and not those of the billionaires and their errand boys and girls.”

    To put it simply, Bloomberg is a Bernie SPOILER. He’s willing to spend $2 billion to stop Bernie. Bloomberg’s campaign is designed to convince desperate Dems terrorized by MSNBC and CNN over the 2016 loss that there’s two types of oligarchs–
    wicked Trump and benevolent Bloomberg. Talk about a mind-f–k. No billionaire is kind and compassionate towards the working-class. One can only accumulate $68 billion by being a psychopathic misanthropic criminal.

    If Bloomberg can convince minorities and the working-class he’s more charitable than Trump, then “benevolent mini Mike” will also eagerly sell these same pitiful souls the Brooklyn Bridge.

  • no politician will ever change people’s lives i mean no tyrant can change a serfs life why ? because that’s how the systems is designed,you cannot expect the “establishment” to have the people’s interests at heart why? because that’s how it is designed to be, as long as the people believe in “establishment or authority” no freedom will ever come it first starts with the mind, as long as the masses have mental lenses of viewing the rulers as rightful there won’t be any freedom.Free your minds from mental lenses of the establishment and authority they don’t exist.

  • “What dominates the Democratic Party, no less than the Republicans under Trump, is the politics of oligarchy. It is naked and shameless.
    The financial aristocrats, the multimillionaires and billionaires, control the two-party system and dictate the course of the stage-managed political events called “primaries,” “conventions” and “elections.”


    No doubt, we live in a violent society reminiscent of the society in the days of Noah, our days being the return of those days. The good news is that it means the return of Jesus is near and I pray the Rosary to hasten His return because I have seen more than enough bs.

    • Jesus said he would return within the lifetimes of those present.
      You’ve been conned by a lying propagandist, speaking obedience and submission for the parasitic mud shadows. Your beads are just beads, and your rescue aint happening.
      Get real, and rescue yourself.

  • Outstanding Caitlin! Unfortunately, regardless who the nominee may be, this is exactly what we’ll get. More insane delusion reinforcement propaganda. Gang rape is democracy in action, and the US Sociopaths In Charge are taking double doses of Viagra daily. Maybe I should invest in KY. Nah, they won’t bother with using it.

    • JKW has confused politics with sex. When they cannot tell the difference between these two domains, the commentary is both vulgar and offTopic.

  • My week is made. Your work saves.

  • Naw, even the corrupt Democrats think Bernie’s a nut. Trump is the Elvis of politics. Hell, Trump won the Daytona 500 in the Beast. And that fly over got him another million votes.

  • I heard (made it up myself, actually) that Hillary Clinton has sworn a blood oath to Mikey Bloomberg NOT to have him Arkancided if he chooses her as running mate after they get rid of Bernie and Tulsi this spring.

  • I just love it when you let out (and let in) that alt-person Snooty McCentrist to take your posting place. So honest, truthful, trustworthy – god bless him!

  • I just love it when you let out (and let in) that alt-person Snooty McCentrist to take your posting place. So honest, truthful, trustworthy – god bless him!

  • OK I laughed out loud and I’ve only read 4 paragraphs. Good one!

    I’m all in for Pojamie Klobdenbutt!

    though Pojamike Klobdenbuttemberg is looking pretty formidable too

  • So good to see you are finally coming to your senses, Caitlin! For a while there I was worried that those [non-existent] “Bernie Bros” had befuddled your otherwise clear brain with their unceasing insidious propaganda that some progressive change [however small] might actually be possible. Silly sexist scum! But reading this I see that you have become, well, if not a fully mature “adult in the room,” then at least a newly post-pubescent political analyst who might yet still have a [slim] chance of getting your own op ed opportunity writing for a REAL, highly prestigeous, and thoroughly “objective,” mega-outlet like [the Bezos/CIA owned and scripted] Washington Post, or even the still more ethically redoubtable, New York Times! I suppose I shouldn’t raise any unrealistic hopes in you in this regard, but truly, if you continue to write articles like this one the sky is the limit with respect to how far you might go in the world of RESPECTABLE journalism! Why I can almost see you lollygagging in a sharp new business suit in your corner office at the “All the news that’s fit [for a bourgeois, imperialist, Zionist rag] to print” headquarters now! So keep up this great new “turn” in your editorializing and let the whole [neoliberal capitalist] world become your oyster, [whatever the hell that lame metaphor is supposed to mean]. And always remember, to get ahead, to be able to hob-knob with “the best in the business” all you really need to do know is never forget that “a better world is NOT possible,” like your more seasoned and wizened new associates have long known is srely true. “I salute you on a glorious career,” [or whatever exactly it was that Emerson wrote to Walt Whitman after reading Leaves of Grass]! I know it might be difficult at first, but you need to keep in mind that the innumerable new “repressions” required for a wild-eyed political teenager, like you have been up until now, for a naive, [because still thinking] “kid,” who still believes some kind of responsible journalism might still be possible should one have such as a goal, such repressions are, if not exactly, “their own reward,” at least, very well rewarded by those with the power and dross to do so. So then, no backsliding, no regression, into your previous modus operandi!!

  • Proposing that normal analysis does not apply to Bernie because he proposes to bring the USA up to European levels of social support is a wholly false and contrived argument, designed specifically to sour empaths with the candidate most likely to defeat Trump.
    Bernie is the strongest candidate because he is really serious about taking the pain and danger out of poverty.
    This is stuff that even the stupid can understand, yet with the same fake audacity as Trump, the anonymous Snooty McCentrist fabricates contradictory nonsense out of thin air.
    Contradiction differs from dissent in that it merely asserts, whereas authentic dissent has verifiable observations and reasoning.
    Snooty McCentrist is trying to rob us of our dreams of a better USA by pretending that mathematics says Bernie can be defeated with one word : socialism. Don’t give the bastard an inch.
    Not only nasty, Snooty McCentrist is poisonous to sobriety and good faith.

    • Are you serious. The so called war on poverty has decimated black communities with their ridiculous rules and regulations. Just as big a failure as the war on drugs. America politicians have no idea how to win a war. Real or social. Government destroys people not help them. Your attitude and ideas are one of the problems not the solution.

  • Caitlin, thank you for keeping it real. One of my favorite journalists was Mike Royko. I thought he was brilliant and funny. You’re more brilliant and funnier. I love your articles.

  • You a funny gal. Gonna leave Bob D alone with his link to a better pukeberg.

  • Part of me is laughing and part of me is crying. This op-ed is funny but the sad thing is that most of my fellow Americans just ” Obey ” what ever the damn TV tells them. Mike Bloomberg has all kinds of ” sell outs ” lined up with their grubby little hands out waiting for their piece of silver to lie for or about him. It is just disgusting!

  • Before you deliver a broadside against Bloomberg, it might be useful to know a little bit about his background. He actually earned his money and tends to see the long run benefits of philanthropy.


    • So in order to get an unbiased view of Bloomberg, you turn to his own website? Anyone see a problem with this?

      As for the long run benefits of his “philanthropic” endeavours, Bloomberg is considering poor old Hillary as his vice president,. In other words, if elected, he’d only be warming the chair in the oval office for a more substantial and far more lethal backside.

    • A billionaire who earned his own money? Is he a million years old or something?

      • Your real name must be spelled “erroneous.” More propaganda from
        the Bloomberg ad squad.

        • To clarify, one man’s great fortune is the great misfortune of the rest of us.

          That 2020 may well end up in a race between two billionaires goes to show that in America, the system is so corrupt that the corruption is indistinguishable from the system itself. America has been exporting so much democracy to resource-rich countries that it’s totally depleted at home.

    • Michael Bloomberg’s money
      $61,800,000,000. (as of 2-2020 – Wiki)
      At age 78, he has 8,000 days until 100 years of age:
      IF Mr. Bloomberg received no more income from now until then, he could spend $7,720,000 (seven-million, seven-hundred and twenty thousand dollars) A DAY, every day and have $40,000,000. (forty-million dollars) left over for his waning years…
      Does Mr. Bloomberg really understand “inequality”?

      • A family that can set aside $61.800 per year is doing very well, thank you. You’d have to do that for a million years to be as rich as Bloomberg. And he’s only 78 years old? Now that’s a hard working man.

    • As faint echos of Robert Plant reverberate in my mind’s ears: “…… and he’s buying a stairway…… to heaven”

  • In the Headline, I’d suggest adding the words “self-defined” in front of the word “moderate”.
    That would make it read “Op-Ed: Dems Should Do The Sensible Thing And Nominate A Self-Defined Moderate Rapacious Psychopath”
    The only people who call these beasts “moderate” or “centrists” are their paid propaganda machines. In terms of America’ history and historic ideals, there is nothing moderate or centrist about these people. When I grew up, the big bogeyman was Richard Nixon, of Vietnam bombing, Cambodia bombing, and Watergate with The Plumbers fame. Nixon did things like sign the Clean Air Act and the Clean Water Act. Nixon put price controls on the economy to try to contain the inflation from his massive war spending. Nixon is to the left of all of these current moderates and centrists. Nixon bombing Hanoi to force the Vienamese to the negotiating table seems rather humane than the current moderates and centrists who just bomb, bomb, bomb and keep on bombing for ever and ever. And if a current moderate and centrist signed something called a Clean Water Act you’d know it was written by Wall St and corporate leaders
    These moderates and centrists are leading the most right-wing political movement in American history, except for Trump and his cabinet of billionaires and generals.

  • Caitlin:

    Your logic is good, which is why I am a subscriber. Democratically, if the Dems want Bernie more power to ’em.

    How though, is Bernie, if elected, going to do otherwise than the preceding self-serving political dirtbags? Bernie seems to fly first class, and lives in a wealthy neighborhood, two things which are hypocrisy for socialists.

    Please explain to me how a left-handed tyrant could be any better than a right,-handed tyrant or even a moderate dirtbag?

    As I see it, to redistribute wealth as any tyrant must, he will forcibly remove it from its owner by coercion, violence, theft. There is no other way. If he asks people to voluntarily part with their wealth, they will refuse. Making something legal does not make it right. Like sex, one can ask somebody for it for it, but if one takes it by coercion, violence, theft, he is called a rapist. The exact same logic applies to Bernie who will surely redistribute wealth as president using coercion, violence, theft. Why do you give the socialists a pass here? (Obviously by my logic, taxation is theft. I don’t support it, but if I don’t pay, I will be rather violently hauled off to jail…)

    And what is exactly is the value of a free college degree? I’ll tell you: Zero. When everyone has a free degree, how do you suppose its value won’t be inflated away to nothing?

    Don’t get me wrong, the right, left and middle appear different in name only, so I support none of them. In fact, politics looks to only make everythibg worse.

    Not ripping on you, really. I want you to convince me how I am wrong. Make a socialist out of me.


    • When dealing with oligarch bullies, its a case of either you are with them or against them. If you choose to sit out the fight, then you are with the oligarchs. People spout lots of philosophy about why they don’t join the fight against the oligarchs. But it doesn’t matter. You are either there on the barricades with us, or you are not.
      Because if we don’t struggle today, then this world is doomed. Either to nuclear war in the short term, or global heating and sea level rise in the longer term. Or perhaps something else like our massive insecticide use killing off all the bees and other useful insects. Or something else this crazy and unhealthy system we have creates. But, we either have to change, or we die. And step one in changing is taking on the oligarchs who are profiting greatly from the current system and show no sign of making any useful changes anywhere near quick enough. Which in all three cases I just listed, the time for change is either now or its already passed.
      Like Jesus tried to teach us, we can treat each other person as a dear brother or sister, we can refuse to fight our perceived enemies, and by doing so we can make this place a paradise. Or we can continue our dog-eat-dog competition and fighting and we can make this place a hell. You can call it socialism or whatever trending word you want, but if we can’t create a more equal and humane and decent society, then we die.

      • Yes. It’s that stark. But I still find a framework for hope in these words of Charles Eisenstein:


        • Is a “framework for hope” what we need ?
          I think not. The future’s greatest need is navigation, a task in which wishful thinking is a dangerous distraction.
          Particularly risky for those who adopt a paradigm in which organising forces make all the decisions, for this is tantamount to abdicating our sovereignty.
          What we need is a reliable realityMap, something we can verify by milestones of achievement, such as our assemblage point reaching the place of silentKnowledge.
          Having surveyed the available realityMaps, one stands out as verifiable and comprehensive, where all others are disqualified as incomplete and misleading.
          The one description of the human circumstance which has flawlessly withstood empirical scrutiny is from the Toltecs of Mexico, which was published as a reportage by field anthropologist Carlos Castaneda PhD.

          • Peter, could you provide a link to a description of a Toltec “realityMap?” I’d be interested to read it. Of course, I can always do my own research here. By the way, did you read the link I provided or just react to my description of it? Eisenstein has always been wide open to ancient wisdom.

            • Hello Newton Finn.
              Eisenstein is trading on comforting reassuring lullabies. The best of the toltec remnant was documented by 4 anthropologists, 3 of whom were apprenticed to the warrior band of nagual Juan Matus. Of these, Carlos Castaneda wrote 12 books that introduce the essential concepts and practices for freeing our perception from prisons of belief and unexamined habit. He wrote in reportage because for most of his life he found the descriptions incomprehensible. Some definitive concepts take years to assimilate, especially when they are contradicted by authoritative conformists.
              Florinda Donner and Taisha Abelar were also apprenticed, and wrote of the preparation for females, which is markedly different. The fourth authentic source is “Conversations with the Nagual” by Armando Torres. All 15 books can be downloaded free as .doc files from federaljack.com. Having them as text files is useful for indexing and making notes.
              I have edited my digital copies to replace vague American colloquialisms with precise English and to stabilise the grammar (US English was Castaneda’s third language, after Portugese and Spanish).

              I am willing to share these annotated versions, available on request.

            • Addendum : yes, i read your cited excerpt from Eisentstein.

        • This is a wonderful article. A tiny bit wordy but the concept is awesome and I’m a bit embarrassed to admit, new to me.

          “We were left alone in a dead, pitiless universe, doomed by nature and human nature to struggle pointlessly for survival in a world rendered ever more horrible by our efforts.”

          Thanks for sharing this. I will share it too!

          • Thanks, Jeff. In case you’re interested, Charles Eisenstein’s website is full of fascinating videos, audios, books, etc. He’s gone so far as to make all of the books he’s written freely available. What I linked to was merely a small section of “The Ascent of Humanity,” one of his better ones. His latest on climate change is also a real eyeopener…at least it was for me.

            • Thanks. I’m glad to be aware of him now. I sent him an email thanking him for the good article.

    • Why would you want anyone to convince you how you are wrong? Millions of non-voters already accept your premise that there is no real difference between politicians, regardless of the policies they espouse or what they have actually done for their constituents. Therefore, like you, they “support none of them”, which effectively supports the status quo and the rapacious psychopaths currently in control. I’m not saying it’s illogical to surrender in the face of such overwhelming odds – it’s just unacceptable to anyone with a moral, social, or environmental conscience.

    • Two of ”civilization” LIES that are stifling your understanding:
      #1. Ownership of Earth is the lie that denies each-their-own-space-of-habitation as is the obvious indigenous solution.
      #2. “Money” is a “legal-fiction” that is “created” by central banks OUT OF NOTHING, therefore, “redistribution” is as simple as giving it to those who don’t have any instead of giving it to those with the most as is done today (Repo Mkt, former & future QE). (raising the ‘bottom’ instead of the ‘top’)
      Concerning “taxation is theft.” No. The “legal-fiction” currency is “taxed” as the “price paid” for using that currency as “money” for exchange and compenstion. Don’t like it, don’t use it.
      The “obligation” to pay with “money” always comes back to #1.
      Those who claim to “own” Earth will use FORCE to mandate compliance.
      There is no solution to these issues as long as we continue to forfeit our indigenous natural ‘state’ as Earth’s indigenous natural inhabitants which includes A PLACE TO BE.
      “Socialism” is not what Bernie represents. (worker co-ops are legal though, regardless.)
      Bernie is a mutation of an ‘FDR-Democrat’ attempting to slightly modify capitalism* so as to allow ‘the masses’ to survive in conditions that just barely discourage VIOLENT REVOLUTION.
      College? The OPTION of education proposed is not “free” but rather INCLUDED as what those pesky “taxes” pay for (already being collected and used elsewhere) does not give everyone a ‘free degree’. The “degree” must be EARNED by STUDY and demonstration of what is learned (ideally).

      • * capitalism: privately manipulating for benefit of self, based in lies #1 & #2.

      • Dregeye insults money as well as our intelligence.
        Dregeye seeing nothing more than a legal fiction is an admission that he cannot understand the underlying dynamic : money is stored energy.
        Bernie makes no claim to represent “socialism”.
        On the contrary, Bernie is seeking to implement social reforms that happened in Britain more than a century ago, beginning with Winston Churchill’s worker’s insurance in 1905.
        Dregeye is the commonest of fake experts, an armchair expert.

        • Odd that “Peter Mann”, when disagreeing with my understanding of information, attempts to discredit me as a person (as one who “cannot understand” which means lacking the ‘ability’ rather than lacking relevant ‘information’ as I suggested, prefacing my comment for “T”, and closes with “is the commonest of fake experts, an armchair expert.”) Yet offers NO INFORMATION to support the assertion that “stored energy” can be ‘created’ by moving the decimal point in a computer at the Federal Reserve. Nowhere did I claim to be “expert” which is simply Peter Mann’s projection (and I don’t even own an “armchair”! As a guitarist, they are inconvenient).
          Although, as best I can make out, Peter agrees with me that Bernie Sanders is not advocating “socialism” (I don’t hear Bernie speak of collective or governmental ownership of mfg, that’s Richard D. Wolff. Bernie wants to ‘tax the rich’ while the rich continue to exploit Earth, including humanity, and use those ‘taxes’ to alleviate the suffering of the ‘poor’ just enough to avoid violent revolution).
          Maybe he’s responding to “T” on this point (?)
          While Peter’s historical reference reaches further back in time and to an other country than my “FDR Democrat” reference, somehow he implies that this adds to my “fake expert” status from his point of view.
          I have constructed these paragraphs with “Peter Mann” in the third-person because I do not consider him* one who looks for exchange of information and ideas, (but rather enjoys accusation and projection without ANY relevant references,) due to the attempted character assassination being more prevalent in his comment(s) than any offer of contrary information to refute my assertions.
          After this I will not respond without a retraction of his personalized attacks.
          Oh, and “insults money” is such a bizarre assertion, (revealing a greater respect for legal-fictions than living beings?), I am tempted to claim the assertion, except I cannot know how that would be interpreted by those of Peter’s ilk who appear to worship money. I attempt to avoid others’ religious beliefs.
          Also, I did not address anyone’s “intelligence,” only “LIES that are stifling … understanding”
          Even the most intelligent will draw inaccurate conclusions when given inaccurate info, lies.
          * (if “him” is the correct gender reference, if not, I apologize)

          • A reply of indignation is as predictable and boring as it gets.
            I stand by my original observations about the quality and purpose of anonymised “Dregeye’s” degrading perspective.

    • Politics and democracy are tools of social control, fooling people into thinking they choose their politicians, control their private lives and have the best country. Agents of the “establishment” have an easy task indoctrinating the masses. Many dissidents know that the democratic process and political system are part of population brain-washing and control. Where is the plan for effective revolutionary action we need to eliminate sociopaths and claret the way for a brave new world? Effective revolutionary action requires activists to network and synergize with other activists.

      • Mika is deeply confused : politics and democracy are separate entities.
        The original Americans had a genuine functioning democracy because they outlawed politicians.
        Each individual had a vote from birth and was required to do their own thinking.
        They also included a fundamental social hygeine : Death for the First Proven Lie !
        Think about what a difference that one law would make.

  • Caitlin, are many of your readers starting to realize that you’re the Messiah? Your writing is so fresh and creative and brilliant, I end up highlighting whole articles of yours. I’m starting to find it strange that millions of people don’t know who you are. I’ll bet in my town of Hayward, California (160,000 people), maybe half of 1% knows who you are. What a strange time when someone can tell such profound truths in fun, mercifully short, super creative essays and yet not be mobbed as the new Savior!

    • I completely agree.

  • T’would be funny if it were not so goddamned sad. : (

  • Caitlin – You’re magical! I particularly enjoy the way you rattle the cages of some of the wackier ZeroHedge readers – do keep it up, please. You make all of us think a bit…

  • Snooty McCentrist would probably like this website:


  • like choosing Pepsi-Cola or Coca-Cola

    • Pepsi of course

  • Wow, who does Snooty McCentrist work for? He is SO on point.. he presents such a cogent argument that I must surmise he went to Yale with the Bushes, and did post grad work at Harvard.. I mean, spell it out, here’s the agenda, riff raff… get on with it!

  • I trust you know CJ Hopkins’ satire. He’d be very impressed with this. I certainly am. Keep it up. You’re the best.

  • perfect!

  • I really wish you’d keep it real.

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