Today’s Caitlin Johnstone article has been replaced with a breaking news report from the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.

Listen to this article:

JERUSALEM — A four-month old Palestinian infant has sustained fist-related injuries to the face on Saturday during a violent clash with Israeli police officers.

Early reports are unclear whether the violence was instigated by the police or the baby girl. Also unknown is whether the child’s injuries were incurred by being struck or by attacking the officers’ fists with her face.

The knuckle-associated trauma occurred when violence broke out between the infant and several officers in riot gear in East Jerusalem, where clashes have been occurring due to rising anger over evictions of Palestinian families on land claimed by Jewish settlers. Both sides lay claim to the disputed properties, with the families arguing that the houses are their homes that they live in, and the settlers arguing that they were given the houses by decree in ancient scriptures authored by an invisible omnipotent deity.

Video footage of the incident went viral on social media minutes before being deleted from all platforms, leading to calls for peace from US officials.

“Very concerned about this violent clash, both sides should have de-escalated,” Vice President Kamala Harris said in a Twitter response to the video, adding, “Violence is never the answer, no matter your age.”

“We call on all babies to obey the rules-based international order,” added Secretary of State Antony Blinken.

Asked for comment on the incident during a Saturday interview with NNC’s Ray Theon, New York Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez said that “It’s not so much about the what of these happenings, but the how. Sometimes the how gets lost in the what, and then the what gets obscured by the why, and the why gets eaten by the who, and who even am I anyway? Who is anybody? Ultimately nobody knows. It’s a philosophical mystery, just like that incident with the baby.”

“Israel has a right to defend itself from terrorists of any developmental stage,” the Israel Police told NNC when asked for comment.

Les Overton, a senior fellow at the Washington-based think tank American-Israeli Center for Strategic Genocide, says both sides have been equally affected by this latest wave of violence, with Palestinians sustaining numerous fatalities and serious injuries and Israeli law enforcement suffering emotional discomfort and great inconvenience.

“It’s just a really perplexing situation,” Overton said. “On one hand you’ve got the Palestinians suffering under what more and more human rights groups are calling an ‘apartheid regime’, but on the other hand you’ve got the Israeli government and violent far-right extremists suffering from a desire to not have Palestinians living near them anymore. It’s hard to say who’s in the wrong here.”

“While Palestinians claim they have a right to live with basic human dignity in the homes they’ve spent their entire lives in, Israelis contend that those demands are invalidated by a religious text written thousands of years ago,” Overton added. “It’s a real pickle.”

“But let’s be real here,” Overton said. “Who among us, at some point in their lives, hasn’t needed to punch a baby in self-defense?”

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31 responses to “Palestinian Infant Sustains Punching-Related Injury In Violent Clash With Israeli Police”

  1. Palestine, Venezuela, Yemen, North Korea, etc. If you oppose the empire that’s what will happen,. Slowing being eradicated right in front of your eyes and nobody will do anything to stop it. No one can in the same way as you are living under a surreal lockdown new world. No one of us was alive to see the eradication of thousands of millions on Americas. None of us was alive to see the slaughter and genocide in medieval Europe and the subsequent exodus for those who had money to pay or their lives to trade. It must have a book somewhere to not forget and a lot of people involved to not let this thought of a “chosen” supremacy to rule one world. If the greatest liar announced to the world the discovery of a religious doc to prove their right to be what they are, who would believe on it? Everyone. Because it’s been for a very very long time we don’t know anymore what we were. Let’s pray together a little to find some comfort. Even if all our knowledge is tailor-made.

  2. Some time ago I wrote the Israeli state department asking why there was antisemitism around the world. I pointed that there was no antibuddhism, no antinorwegians, no antinglicanism, etc. etc.
    No reply.

    1. People like you will always rationalize their own wickedness

  3. And the same goes for those 200,000 plus Japanese children, women and men who defaced walls with their shadows and littered the streets with their ashes in Hiroshima and Nagasaki

  4. Bill Gates worked with Epstein even after Epstein was found guilty

  5. well reported:
    except for the AOC part. i happen to know she loves baby.
    i sent her an AirFryer last year and she loves to stuff one in
    for four hours. never the head tho’ AOC don’t eat faces.
    uhnt-uh. she tosses baby heads to her pit bull.
    rough neighborhood y’know. gotta keep da pit healthy.
    eats better than we do.
    all power to you Cait for this daring research. quite newsy.

  6. No doubt it was the baby’s fault for being an anti-Semitic terrorist. Why do people keep cry-babying about these hate mongering Jew haters? It’s a crime to talk about, love, hope, dignity or any other sort of niceness; the rest of world should get with it and join in on God’s carnage, hate speech is only talk, time to get off your rumps and walk the walk.

  7. Again…thank you.

  8. One of the few times she stoops to mention anything about occupied Palestine it’s with an obscene “joke.”

  9. Deborah L Oxford Avatar
    Deborah L Oxford

    Would be hilarious if it weren’t so true and sad.

  10. Armed adults punching babies in the face is never nice. But it was only a Palestinian.

    1. Sheila Chambers Avatar
      Sheila Chambers

      It was even better than that, it was a GIRL Palestinian terrorist! If she grows up, she will produce even MORE Palestinian terrorist!
      It took only a few months after it’s birth for her to become a vicious Palestinian terrorist!
      Good job Jewish gestapo, that will teach all terrorist of any age, even embryo’s not to mess with the Jewish holy beliefs or their holy books!
      These savage Palestinians need to read Deuteronomy 7:1-2, Deuteronomy 2:32-34.
      That infant was lucky to escape their richeous wrath alive!

      1. Not always a joke line, although the sarcasm here is funny.
        Just a few years ago an Israeli member of parliament (I think, forgot her name) said all Palestinians should be wiped out, including infants because they will grow up to become terrorists (genetic, you know).

        1. Ayelet Shaked?

  11. Carolyn L Zaremba Avatar
    Carolyn L Zaremba

    Thank you for this, Caitlin! I particularly like the “quote” you created for AOC. I laughed my ass off. Brilliant.

    1. The Blinken one made me grin- “We call on all babies to obey the rules-based international order.” That’s right on target!

  12. Pascal wins for best comment. My joke deathly pales in comparison. I was just going to say something about the pickle.

  13. As one empire grows the other will die
    But where, oh where will the book-worshippers fly
    The Gentile is given the guided tour
    As the Palestinian’s fate they’ll soon endure

    Trained killers in a new war zone
    Supported while away from home
    Soon they’ll come for you and me
    Remember to thank them for setting us free

    From our lives

  14. This is one of the most brilliantly on-the-mark satires I’ve ever read, Caitlin. Sheer genius.

  15. Marcus Raccus Avatar
    Marcus Raccus

    Fucking brilliant!!!
    You have to be Scorpio?!
    I’m seriously sitting here laughing my ass off.
    Take me into the darkness to see the light.

  16. The prize winner of that paranoid schizophrenia contest is Golda Meir for her quote: “We can forgive the Arabs for killing our children. We cannot forgive them for forcing us to kill theirs. We will only have peace with the Arabs when they love their children more than they hate us”. It’s not immediately obvious how, in her mind, the Arabs would hate Jews less and less as they killed more and more of their children but that’s the beauty of paranoid schizophrenia. Golda Meir also wins the second prize for saying: “This country exists as the fulfillment of a promise made by God Himself. It would be ridiculous to ask it for its legitimacy”. And she also pockets the third prize for saying: “There is no such thing as a Palestinian people. It is not as if we came and threw them out and took their country. They didn’t exist”. Contrary to God whose existence can’t reasonably be denied since He left us a book He wrote, initially called “My husband is very intelligent, he says it himself” shortened at press time to save on ink – which was in short supply at the time. Friedrich Nietzsche and Sigmund Freud tried to prevent all this, the first by cracking the news in 1859 that God was dead and the second in the 1890’s by inventing psychoanalysis to treat the symptoms linked to the illusion that He wasn’t – or had ever existed for that matter – but it didn’t work. So the Palestinian unpeople (as Noam Chomsky calls them) have to foot the bill for being at the wrong place at the wrong time. And to think that all this could have been avoided if Moses had had a sense of orientation! As Golda Meir again put it: “Let me tell you something that we Israelis have against Moses: he took us forty years into the desert to bring us to the one spot in the Middle East that has no oil!” So she wasn’t only pissed with the Arabs after all :o)

    1. Carolyn L Zaremba Avatar
      Carolyn L Zaremba

      Brilliant comment, Pascal! And Noam Chomsky condemns himself out of his own mouth on this as on so many subjects. Why anyone listens to him anymore is a mystery to me. Golda Meir was a sadist as well as a religious obscurantist.

      1. Stephan Borau Avatar
        Stephan Borau

        Chomsky has been saying very incisive things for forty or fifty years, and continues along his same path of reasoning today — but you’re tired of hearing what he has to say. He does not refer to the Palestinians as unpeople — he points out that the West makes a distinction between people and unpeople and the Palestinians are seen as unpeople by the Western powers.

        You are missing a lot if you think he has nothing to say.

        1. Actually, we’re tired of his gate keeping …

  17. David Quinly Avatar
    David Quinly

    Forgetting their own genocidal genesis, Israelis now want Arabs off the premises.

    And the torture cells of Saddam,
    are now run by Uncle Sam.

    We envy so, the EVIL of our nemesis

  18. Nobody ever could truly say that the truth wasn’t SICK and DISGUSTING. I was in my deceased uncle’s settler village in the occupied West Bank and watched Arab workmen who had to walk through the village with their hands on their heads and a settler guard with an assault rifle muzzle rammed into the back of their necks, on any ‘normal’ day.

  19. OY! Overton’s grammar!

    (As always, Caitlin, you’re right on the money. How could it be more clear? What a sad world we live in.)

  20. I leave you alone for a few thousand years and WTF?!

  21. Such a wonderful article. Glad to see you’ve taken on this taboo subject matter. I’m certain you know however, you’ve crossed a red line and will now have to pay a price. The online jackals will soon be released!

  22. Excellent article. Well written.

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