Today’s Caitlin Johnstone essay has been replaced with an op-ed by Snooty McCentrist of the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.

Oh my God, stop this. Just stop. I’ve had it up to here with you insolent peasants and your would-be revolution. Stop this nonsense immediately before something happens that we both regret.

My fellow commentariat and I have been patiently richsplaining over and over to you ungrateful street urchins that basic social programs are bad and limitless military expansionism is good, and the only reason you think otherwise is because of Kremlin propaganda. You don’t want Bernie Sanders and a working healthcare system; that’s just what Vladimir Putin wants you to think. You want the same thing every American wants: a robust national security state.

Do you Bernie Bros want to give Putin what he wants? Do you? Do you love Putin or something? You know who else loved Putin? Hitler.

My friends and I were just talking about this down at the club, and we all agreed that you unwashed riff raff have been getting completely out of hand all around the world. Did you know the demonstrations outside the Julian Assange extradition trial yesterday were so loud that the people in the courtroom had trouble hearing the proceedings? We’re trying to extradite an unruly leak publisher to the Eastern District of Virginia, and you uppity commoners made it almost impossible to maintain our erections.

We’ve had an established system that’s been working fine for generations thank you very much, and we don’t need the rabble grabbing at the steering wheel with their chicken-greased fingers. We’ve got it all sorted out: we get to run things and tell you how to think, and you get to turn the gears for most of your waking life. In your free time you get to do the things you plebeians enjoy: rolling around in the dirt, watching monster truck wrestling, eating fast food at McDenny’s, and wearing tea-shirts. Everyone wins.

But that’s not good enough for you greedy peons, is it? No, you want free education, because, what? You can’t just swallow your pride and go to Yale? You want free healthcare because Mummy and Daddy’s plan isn’t good enough for you? For Pete’s sake, just dip into the trust fund if you’re short of cash.

The youth of today are especially entitled. They want everything handed to them on a silver platter, instead of putting everything on silver platters themselves like normal grown adults. If you’re having trouble paying for your Mercedes or your poodle’s psychiatrist, you’ve got to pull yourself up by your bootstraps and sell off your yacht like the rest of us.

I was assigned to Daddy’s company’s board of directors when I was barely out of grad school. I had to attend so many meetings–sometimes three a year! But you have to put in the hard yards if you want to be a success like me.

You can’t have everything, Bernie Bros. Just because a clear majority of you in every constituency in every state all over the nation in all the polls and all the elections in huge numbers have been demanding to have certain things, that doesn’t mean you get to have them. This is a democracy, remember?

The reality is, sometimes you have to make sacrifices for our share portfolios.

Do you want four more years of Trump, Bernie Bros? Because nominating Sanders is how you get four more years of Trump; my friends at the club and I are going to do everything we can to make sure of it. Believe me, it will hurt us a lot more than it hurts you, because that man tweets some very impolite things about us sometimes.

So just do the right thing, forget about your little revolution, and nominate a safe, moderate progressive like Michael Bloomberg or Ted Cruz. Then we can get back to ruling the world, and you can get back to your Netflix televisions and your doughnut pizzas. Everyone’s happy, and we don’t have to get authoritarian on your insolent asses. Get it? Got it? Good.


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51 responses to “Op-Ed: Stop Revolting, You Insolent Peons”

  1. “You know who else loved Putin? Hitler.”
    Made me laugh! Yeah, isn’t it amazing the places propaganda can take us?

  2. The polls show that Bernie has the best chance of all the Democratic candidates to beat Trump, although most of the others would have a shot as well, especially if the economy crashes as a consequence of a covid19 pandemic, the incumbent normally being blamed for such things. The surest way for the Dems to lose the election in spite of these favorable alignments of the stars would be to snatch away or sabotage Bernie’s projected nomination. Jobbing him like that, which the Dem leadership clearly telegraphs doing, will either keep the entire Bernie faction of the electorate home on election day or cause them to vote for Trump or third party. Based on the polls Bernie Democrats make up at least a third of party membership. That throws the election to Trump. I would remind these Bernie Bashers or Bernie Busters, whatever you want to call them, that the Supreme Court will probably have at least one vacancy during the next presidential term. Would they rather Trump or Bernie fill it? Their threats to sabotage Bernie’s campaign yet again suggests they’d rather have Trump for prez and an even more right-wing Supreme Court. They are hard core right wing, just not quite as radical as the GOPers. They long ago abandoned the principles of the Democratic Party and its working class membership.

  3. Obviously the only correct answer to war criminals, doubly criminal by persecuting those who unmask them, is the Nuremberg gallows. Not for real this time, as it’s unlikely to be timely enough — but in effigy is good enough when we get there.

  4. Sorry Caitlin,
    I got sidetracked by Craig Murray’s account of day #1 of Julian Assange’s trial.
    I forgot what comment I was going to make.
    Buy toilet, paper, beans, rice, salt, cooking oil, onions and garlic, and plenty of 5000 unit vitamin-D pills.
    I hope you have a vegetable garden already, and don’t smoke tobacco.

  5. An Open Letter to Chris Matthews and James Carville:

    Chris Matthews and James Carville, for God’s sake pull yourselves together! You’re acting like it’s the end of the world that Bernie Sanders is on track to win the Democratic nomination and provide health care similar to all the other civilized countries on Earth.

    Are you concerned that he’ll raise taxes on you and your country club friends? Good God, we could return to the grim days of the late 1950’s when we all toiled in forced labor camps under that commie, pinko socialist Dwight Eisenhower! Remember what a terrible economy we had back in those grim days when we had a top nominal tax rate exceeding 90 percent?

    Back in 2016, Hillary would insist (with a straight face) that all the corporate money she had been taking wasn’t influencing her decision making process. What Bernie should have more forcefully said to her and what also applies to you two is this: When you spend decades swimming like a fish in a vast ocean of money, you JUST CAN’T KNOW how that experience influences your values, your world view, and indeed, your very thoughts. This effect is on full display as you two are completely losing your shit over the possibility of reasonable, common sense changes that are supported by a majority of US citizens.

    With Bernie Sanders surging in the polls, it’s time to better understand this hysterically maligned concept of “socialism”:

    People never complain about socialist fire and police departments. This is because fire and police protection are viewed as universally needed by all citizens and therefore better provided across the board by the government. Well guess what? All other civilized countries on Earth have applied the same reasoning to health care. As a result, Canada, Europe, Japan, etc. all pay 40-50 percent less for their health care than the US and everyone is covered. The cost savings is achieved through the elimination of the administrative costs of various insurance companies. Canada, Europe, Japan, etc. are avoiding the costs of redundant office buildings, corporate suites, lavish CEO compensation, private jets, etc. This is a no-brainer!

    People don’t complain about the (socialist) Interstate Highway System because it is universally beneficial to society. Medicare is an extremely popular ‘socialist‘ program. As popular as it is, millions of Americans would support expanding it to cover everyone.

    Many countries realize that providing young people with free university education is a wise investment for a country to make. Not only do Denmark, Sweden and Germany have robust economies with more millionaires per capita than the US, but the people are healthier and by many measures, happier.

    The patriotic fervor of “USA is NUMBER ONE” applies to military spending (a vastly wasteful social program for the arms industry). The US is number one in incarceration (a lavish social spending program for the prison industrial complex). But by many other measures, the US lags far behind dozens of other countries. In the US we would claim to love our children, but our infant mortality rate lags far behind Croatia, Lithuania, Greece and Slovenia. In terms of life expectancy, the US lags behind Czech Republic, Portugal, Chile and Ireland. In terms of literacy, the US comes in at 86 percent and is number 125 on a list of 197 countries. How do you think it effects our economy when 14 out of every 100 people are functionally illiterate? All of these humiliating statistics would be addressed by the common sense policies promoted by Bernie Sanders – policies that have sent you two into a tizzy, Chris Matthews and James Carville.

    The US is already a socialist country lavishing hundreds of billions per year on weapons manufacturers ($600 hammers and $900 toilet seats are more profitable than $29 toasters – that are all made in China now anyway). The Federal Reserve continues to hand hundreds of billions per year to the banks in an effort to keep the economy afloat – thus accounting for the stock market’s performance. With the Climate Change crisis staring us in the face, the US continues to give lavish subsidies to the fossil fuel industries. All Bernie Sanders suggests is that US socialist spending benefit working class people more than a wealthy elite. His ideas are sensible and popular. So please Chris Matthews and James Carville, pull yourselves together and get with the program. It’s time for the US to join the rest of the civilized world!

    Robert Bolman
    882 Almaden St, Eugene, OR 97402, 541-344-7196,

    1. Step O'Rafferty Avatar
      Step O’Rafferty

      Very well written Robert and thank you for participating in this forum. I have always been puzzled as to why Americans are so afraid of socialism, particularly universal health care.

    2. Thank you! Thank you! It is individuals like you that help me to maintain some modicum of faith in my fellow citizens. I bow to your superior insight, sir. You are indeed a good American who loves his country and all its people.

  6. Snooty McCentrist ….. reminding us why the guillotine was a great feat of engineering.
    Marie McCentrist … “Let them eat cake”

  7. Since the only way to pay for the healthcare plan that the leftwing mob wants – and what the leftwing mob wants, is always right, as we know – is to literally confiscate 100% of everyone’s income over 30k/yr… I’m sure Bernie can count on your future support, comrade? Just sign that Patreon account over to Bernie to help the cause! And while you’re at it, we have DOZENS of other multi-trillion dollar programs to sign you up for, as well! This is your lucky day! The money will be put to good use, we assure you, and the US will never end up like Venezuela; we promise. And those rich dudes that get jobs on the boards of daddy’s company… you won’t ever have to worry about those guys again. They’re now party members that get all the jobs and have access to all the govt cash and subsidies. In the Soviet Union, they were called The Nomenklatura. You thought American elitists were the worst? Just wait until you meet the new breed! And if you saw all those undercover project veritas videos of bernie bros advocating gulags and training camps and were concerned… have no fear: they are all true! Good times ahead, Bernie bros! Good times!

    1. As it was the case in the days of Noah, a lot of people put money first and people second.

      It is a violent society as it was the case in the days of Noah because we are in the return of those days. The good news is that it means that the Second Coming of Jesus is very near and I pray the Rosary to hasten His Glorious return because I do have seen enough bs.

      Anyway, the primacy of money over people seems to be in jeopardy:

      1. They had invented money in the days of Noah?

        1. Lol. I thought the same thing.

        2. Step O'Rafferty Avatar
          Step O’Rafferty

          As far as I am aware there were large cities in existence when the flood that is recorded by indigenous cultures all over the world occurred. To build large cities would require some kind of monetary exchange system, agreed on by all participants.

    2. healthcare costs less without a layer of parasitic insurance companies. stop lying.

    3. Since the only way to pay for the healthcare plan that the leftwing mob wants – and what the leftwing mob wants, is always right, as we know – is to literally confiscate 100% of everyone’s income over 30k/yr

      My suggestion to finance the mob wanted universal health care system would be to assess those who are paying for the current system and really stick it to them by making them pay 66.793% of what they are now paying.

      1. Step O'Rafferty Avatar
        Step O’Rafferty

        Very good point F Rice. It’s true that an inclusive tax funded health care system where everyone is cared for is not necessarily more expensive than the current profit driven model in the USA.
        Those who believe that profiteering on the health system is ethical don’t need to worry: The pharmaceutical industry is still quite lucrative when it’s products are being purchased by a national health system.

    4. Concern trolls are just the cutest thaaaaaaaaaang! ~tee-hee~

    5. “…is to literally confiscate 100% of everyone’s income over 30k/yr…”

      Where did you pull that from? A dark and smelly place to be sure.

      Why don’t you apply that “how we gonna pay for?” bullshit to the drainage known as the Pentagon? You know, that most incredibly wasteful (how do I count the ways) beast of an entity that can’t account for trillions nor even be audited properly because of all their accounting fuckery? Did you miss the ruse of 2008-09? Did you like the way the invasion and occupation of Iraq was put on the credit card?

      Sure, let’s just go right on allowing the rapacious middle man to come between us and our health care professionals and allow Big Pharma to jack us even that much more. Everyone with any fiscal sense and an ounce of ethics understands how horrible our current “healthcare” system is.

      Higher education should be a national investment, not just another way for banks to take, and take, and take….

      We could completely “pay for” higher education (and relieve our future, our people, of an insidious and criminal “debt”) with a small fraction of what the Pentagon wastes).

      I have met the new breed…it’s a bright young generation that sees through the bullshit and just wants some truth and principle in their lives—along with a government of, by, and for the people.
      Not a nation in which 900 billion of wealth has been fleeced from 50% of us (all we had), while 1% gained 21 trillion in wealth (past 30 years). And while they are at it, they want cooperation and peace with the rest of the world, not the heinously immoral empire that serves already concentrated wealth and kills anything that moves against it. Go back to school Professor—you know little and understand nothing.

      1. Step O'Rafferty Avatar
        Step O’Rafferty

        That American fear of social justice has not only crushed America’s potential to be a truly great country, it has spilled over the borders and destroyed or severely damaged the social justice aspirations of many countries throughout the world. (The list of destroyed or damaged countries is too long for this post)
        America’s aggression both within and without is a result of the ignorance of people such as the one who posted under the name of PROF_ROBINSON
        Once again I ask: Why are Americans so afraid of living in a fair and just society?

        1. The coup of 1963 that was reupped in 2001 explains policy…those tentacles reach far and wide.

          Unrelenting propaganda through control of media apparatus and political structures accounts for some of the “ignorance”—but that tide is turning in this new Age of Information.

          Awareness of our predicament, however, will be as piss in the wind unless and until a group of patriotic insiders bring charges and convict “elites”. Only fear of the rule of law will allow for necessary changes such as the declassification of deep truths, gaining sovereignty of our money supply (public banks and treasury), cleaning up the IC, breaking up media monopolies, instituting publicly funded elections with 100% auditable paper ballots, and more. I’m not holding my breath.

        2. Step O'Rafferty Avatar
          Step O’Rafferty

          Replying to Gregory Herr: I’m guessing that the necessary changes that you have listed will only be implemented after the US dollar has become worthless and a new American system of co-operative association is built from the ground up. I have no doubt that there are enough good people in the USA who are capable of initiating a new fair and just America. Unfortunately I am beginning to agree with many of the posts on Caitlin’s comments sections: Positive change may only be possible after a collapse of the current system. Then what should be done with the hoards of gold and other precious substances currently in the possession of the oligarchs? Such can be used to wield power over people and the oligarchs who possess them would not even fall from their high perches.

  8. Many dissidents know that the political system and so-called democratic process are part of mass brain-washing and population control. Agents of the “establishment” have an easy task using BIG Money to misinform and indoctrinate. Where is the plan for really effective revolutionary action we need to clear the way for a brave new world? The strategy must end up eliminating sociopaths and the power of BIG Money or else we merely get back to the same old dirty tricks when one corrupt oligarchy is overthrown and replaced with another corrupt oligarchy. Effective revolutionary action requires activists to link up and synergize with other activists, then network with more teams of activists. Read more of this here:

    1. Step O'Rafferty Avatar
      Step O’Rafferty

      Thanks for that link T.A.N.L.A.R. Mike’s essay very closely outlines the way I think about our current situation. We all need to have a plan of action.

  9. For those of you wishing to know about Mr. Julian Assange’s day one in court; you can read all about it here:

      1. This is Twilight Zone stuff: one paragraph-
        You will perhaps better accept what I say about the Court when I tell you that, for a hearing being followed all round the world, they have brought it to a courtroom which had a total number of sixteen seats available to members of the public. 16. To make sure I got one of those 16 and could be your man in the gallery, I was outside that great locked iron fence queuing in the cold, wet and wind from 6am. At 8am the gate was unlocked, and I was able to walk inside the fence to another queue before the doors of the courtroom, where despite the fact notices clearly state the court opens to the public at 8am, I had to queue outside the building again for another hour and forty minutes. Then I was processed through armoured airlock doors, through airport type security, and had to queue behind two further locked doors, before finally getting to my seat just as the court started at 10am. By which stage the intention was we should have been thoroughly cowed and intimidated, not to mention drenched and potentially hypothermic.

      2. Thank You,
        I read that.
        God bless Craig Murray.

  10. Lol! “Richsplaining.” The original richsplaining: “let them eat cake.”

  11. There is no way to worry for the ruling elites about Mr Sanders.

    The elites always find a way to get things their way.

    But things like pandemic they cannot control; it is maybe what will take down the “System” and the ruling elite with it because they need the “System” to rule.

    For a long time, I have been thinking a global natural disaster of some sort (like global volcanic eruptions) would end of the “System”.

    But a pandemic fits in what Jesus told us will happen just before His Second Coming:

    “And great earthquakes shall be in divers places, and famines, and pestilences; and fearful sights and great signs shall there be from heaven.” (Luke 21:11)

    So, we are in the return of the days of Noah just before the Second Coming of Jesus and it seems Jesus was right about what would happen and I pray the Rosary to hasten His Glorious return because I do have seen enough bs.

  12. An accurate description of the attitude of the US Sociopaths In Charge. Unfortunately, far too many actually believe who gets elected will make a difference, while it will make no difference whatsoever which sociopath gets elected. There is no solution as long as the tax slaves continue to participate in the gang rape that is democracy. The only solution will be the collapse of the current system of tyranny, and a hopeful rebuild into a system of far smaller political units. Tyranny requires large political units, in which the population has no ability to vote with their feet, or their wallets. Consider that without armed robbery, aka taxes, everyone gets an immediate 100% raise, in which case there would be zero need for any public services. “But who would build the roads”? Anyone or group of people that needed one, that’s who, but they would have to negotiate with land owners instead of confiscating their property at gun point. Governments are inherently evil, and are good at one and only one thing, killing people.

  13. Hilarious! Thanks for the well positioned, informed laugh, Caitlin! xo 🙂

  14. Thanks for your accurate channeling of our Rulers, Caitlin. If only more of us could hear what you and I hear so clearly!

  15. Right on Snooty. Why didnt you warn them of having to use physical force against them if they get too uppity. I mean we will inprison them if necessary for their own good.

  16. Whoa, Snooty my man, chillax! You’ve worked yourself in a state like this and it’s not anywhere near November yet. All that muscle tension. Here. Have a puff of my spliff.
    Oh, I forgot. You’re a centrist. You don’t do that. Or if you ever did, you didn’t inhale. Gin it is then. I’ll make it a double.
    No seriously man, President Bernie is probably the best thing that can happen to you and yours. It will let off some steam like Obama’s election did. I guess you could keep up the grift for another eight years. You gotta look further ahead than this quarter’s figures. You wouldn’t want us rabble to rise up for real, would you?
    And no, I won’t cut those tiewraps. That’s not what the knife is for. Do you know that saying, “Eat The Rich”? Probably not. It’s been going around the circles I move in at least since the 1970s. For most of that time, I’ve been a vegetarian. But you know what? I guess, for the time being, I’ll be a humanitarian.

    1. . For most of that time, I’ve been a vegetarian. But you know what? I guess, for the time being, I’ll be a humanitarian.
      Ohhhh! Kudos!

  17. What’s scary is that a lot of wealthier and more powerful people really do think like this. These are the people who were born to the right parents, in the right country, in the right year, with the healthiest (and often the most attractive) bodies, and with the right family/social connections…and they genuinely believe that they have earned their position in life. They bristle at the notion that luck might have had anything to do with their lot in life, and they ignore the fact that there are many millions (billions?) of people on this planet who work many times harder than they do just to survive.

  18. Our “problem” Caitlink is the outrageous lack of critical thinking in our elective process. Witness the 49% who support everything Trump says/does/promises. Those folk are NOT going to evaluate what is best for themselves, yet alone have an inkling of “best for country/all.”

    I think it just to easy for ask everyone to smarten-up and make the right choices.

    I’m (unhappily) concluding that the vast majority of American Voters will be easily let to believe that any inkling of the Dem candidate being a self-proclaimed “socialist” will be enough to keep the GOP in the WH and Senate. Yes, they won’t be including “Democratic” nor will they be trying to explain the difference between socialist and communist. Perfectly convenient way to compaign isn’t it?

    So, does this conclude with a “Let’s go with our most progressive guy…who just so happens to call himself a Socialist and doesn’t think that Castro was such a bad guy after all” and risk 4 more years of the Orange Menace? That’s a huge gamble isn’t it?

    Who knows how long it would take to recover from 4 more years of Trump/Mitch? I’m old, so it probably doesn’t matter for my lifetime. Too bad for my kids.

    1. No ability to correct bad spelling, incorrect auto-inserts, etc? I’m embarrassed at my typing, from misspelling your name to using the wrong “too” et al. Ugh.

      1. Step O'Rafferty Avatar
        Step O’Rafferty

        Curt get someone to show you how to turn off auto inserts. When predictive texting was introduced on phones I was horrified that people would allow a computer to predict what they intended to write. Auto spell check is just as horrifying. Rule number one in modern times is NEVER let a machine make decisions for you. Or count your votes for that matter!

    2. Chin up, bucko. Your kids are statistically likely to find ‘socialism’ a reasonable concept – at least as far as an FDR-New-Deal level. It’s possible that you’ve discouraged them to the point that they are part of the less likely statistical group of young-uns who disparage socialism. Part of narrative control I guess. Might want to try Caitlin’s advice about busting out of that trap.

    3. Take a step back. We live in a socialist society now. Never has government provided so much at any time in history. Medicare, Medicaid, social security, pensions, health care, subsidies, etc. Yes some have more and some have less but but it is still a capitalistic socialism. So never say there is no socialism. It is just a weird hybrid. Socialists just want more free stuff and more government. Please let me hear someone advocate less government for once.

      1. It ain’t “free” if you’ve paid taxes on it all your gd life, Khatika. Pro-social policies stabilize and improve societies, and yes, even you Khat, live in a SOCIETY! Imagine that!

        1. Pro social policies do not stabilize societies. They make societies dependent on government.

          1. And you have a problem with that? Somehow I fet the ioea that countries like Somalia and Libya would like a working government.

          2. Don’t dodge my point, libby-terror-ian. We pay taxes for Medicare and Social Security. That’s not being “dependent”- that’s getting and giving. The the cap should be raised on S.S. That would fix most, but not all of the problem for S.S.specifically. And yes, I believe that good governance and good government is a GOOD thing, not an oxymoron.

            1. In that case please point out one of those good governments with good governance for I have never seen one.

              1. As an American, nor have I… in America. Any modern social democracy is a fine example and I’d love to live in one. Stuck here, but it doesn’t have to be like this… all those happy citizens in functioning social democracies would never give up the common good- not by choice, Khat. Not by choice.

              2. For sure you will never see a perfect one, human nature being what it is. The three FDR administrations show that a good one is possible, though I admit that depends on the perspective of the individual.

          3. Kinda like the most bloated military spending ever in history is socially stabilizing, eh?

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